


Words At Twenty Paces

by RecklessWriter



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Brother Feels, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Unresolved Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-25
Updated: 2019-05-21
Packaged: 2019-07-17 15:30:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 23,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16098518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RecklessWriter/pseuds/RecklessWriter
Summary: "Explain," Kakashi ordered.He stood in the doorway of the hospital room, staring his students down. They stood across from him, their expressions looking completely lost.And laying on the hospital bed in front of him, breaths shallow but steady, was a very-much-alive Itachi Uchiha.It's nearly four years after the war that Itachi shows up somehow alive, and Sasuke is determined to find out who's responsible. His brother could probably help him out---if only Sasuke wasn't so busy avoiding him.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So one day I was watching some of the last episodes of naruto and i thought 'it's so sad itachi never got to see his brother back in the village again after everything'.
> 
> Hence this story was born because I wanted Itachi to see Sasuke post-series. Also because there are so few stories about the Uchiha brothers. It's sad, because I love them.
> 
> This takes place almost 4 years after the war, so Team 7 are about 20/21. Itachi is the same age he was when he died (21).
> 
> There are NO PAIRINGS in this story, just platonic relationships.

Waking came as a surprise. He hadn't expected to ever open his eyes again.

Light flooded his vision immediately, and he slammed his eyes closed quickly. He could feel the warmth of the sun on his face and the hard ground against his back. His entire body felt weary, as if he'd just been through a lengthy battle.

 _What happened?_  he wondered.  _Where am I?_

Years of training suppressed the instinctive urge to panic. He kept his eyes closed and his breathing even as he allowed his mind time to organize itself. What was the last thing he remembered?

His memory was hazy and not all there, but slowly it began to come back to him, blurred images solidifying and taking shape. He remembered the feeling of a warm forehead pressed against his own, of his fingers tangled in soft strands of hair; looking into familiar dark eyes, sorrowful and lost.

He remembered the smile that had curled at his lips, and the unshed glint of tears in Sasuke's eyes.

( _"_ _I will love you always."_ )

The Edo Tensei, one of Orochimaru's carefully-crafted reanimation jutsus. He and Sasuke had worked together to dispel it. And Itachi had gotten the chance to speak the truth for the first time in nearly ten years.

He had looked into his brother's eyes and had seen the darkness within them—the hatred that Itachi himself had nurtured. But he also looked within them and had seen a boy; a boy who was lost and in pain, and who wanted to go home but didn't know how.

Itachi had shown him the correct path, and had trusted Naruto enough to guide him down it. He'd been sure Sasuke's face would be the last thing he would ever see, and he'd been at peace with that. He'd said what needed to be said.

He hadn't expected to wake up again.

_But how? How am I alive?_

And he  _knew_  he was alive. This wasn't an attempt at another Edo Tensei. Under that jutsu he had felt like little more than a reanimated corpse; walking and talking, but still undeniably dead. Merely the shadow that Itachi Uchiha had left behind.

But now, he felt truly  _restored_  in a way the Edo Tensei had never accomplished. He could feel the brush of the wind against his skin and the tiny rocks digging into his back; he felt his lungs expand as he drew in breath, and felt the beat of his heart against his ribs.

The reanimation jutsu had awakened his mind and body, but it hadn't restarted his heart. That had stayed cold and dead in his chest.

Reviving the dead— _truly_  reviving them, not just a temporary parlor trick—was supposed to be impossible. It couldn't be done.

And yet, here he was.

Pushing aside the questions whirling through his head— _how, when, where, why, who_ —Itachi focused on searching for any nearby chakra signatures. He was surprised to feel how empty his chakra reserves were—another thing he couldn't explain—but he would still be able to sense if there were any threats close.

There were no traces of chakra in the air. He was alone. Reassured, Itachi finally opened his eyes and got to his feet. Too fast—his vision went fuzzy, the ground beneath him unsteady.

He stumbled, and tried quickly to rebalance, but his legs were too weak to hold his weight. He fell to his knees. He was completely depleted of chakra. The only time he could recall being so exhausted was when he and Sasuke had fought for that final time.

He wasn't going to last. He could feel himself slipping. He tried vainly to take in his surroundings, but all he could see was debris. The clear blue sky felt like a mockery.

He fell sideways back onto the ground. How had he gotten into this state? Had he been brought back to life just to die of chakra depletion? His vision darkened, but just before he lost consciousness, his eyes locked on the only speck of color around him—a very familiar symbol.

An uchiwa—a paper fan—bisected in two, the red and white paint old and faded. A crack ran through the cement wall where the symbol was painted.

_Uchiha._

 

* * *

_We shouldn't be here,_ Naruto thought.

He glanced around at the empty homes and buildings stretching out on the abandoned roads surrounding him. Only about half of the buildings were still standing, the other half crushed and falling apart. Sakura stood beside him, glancing around with a solemn expression on her face.

Tucked away and cordoned off from the rest of the village, the old Uchiha complex felt like a ghost town. Every step they took echoed loudly in the silence. Even in the bright light of day, there was something eerie about it; the entire place was steeped in tragedy.

"We shouldn't be here," Naruto repeated, this time out loud. "It doesn't feel right."

"We had to come," said Sakura, though she didn't look any better. There was something fragile about her eyes as she looked around her—perhaps she, like Naruto, was imagining the bodies that had once littered the streets. And how horrific that sight would look to a seven-year-old child. "That stone tablet could hold important knowledge about the Infinite Tsukoyomi. It's important we understand more about Kaguya and exactly what it was she was trying to do."

"It's not like we'll be able to read it. You need the Mangekyou to do that, and Sasuke's gone." Naruto sighed and kicked a splintered piece of wood at his feet, sending up a plume of dust. "I can't believe this place has just been sitting here like this since Pain invaded."

"They thought about turning it into a shopping district," Sakura said, "but Sasuke-kun refused. He said that people just wanted to paint over the massacre and deny it ever happened. And the property  _is_  his, even if he hasn't done anything with it, so he gets final say."

Naruto huffed, torn somewhere between fondness and frustration. "Sounds like something he'd say."

He wanted to say Sasuke was just clinging to old grudges, as he tended to do, but he knew this time there was truth in what he said. The Uchiha had been a problem previous hokages had tucked away rather than dealt with. The massacre had been quickly swept under the rug; even quicker now that the ugly truth behind it was known. Konoha didn't want to acknowledge they were culpable in something so awful.

That was one of the things that would change when he was Hokage. He wouldn't let the villagers bury their heads in the sand any longer.

As he and Sakura passed them, he took in the buildings. The clan's compound, which had been abandoned since Sasuke's departure from Konoha at thirteen, had been crushed in the invasion Pain had led four years ago. With no one living there, no one had found it necessary to rebuild the place—and while Sasuke still had yet to make any decisions regarding the property, he had refused to have the area levelled. It remained here, a somber reminder of Konoha's many mistakes.

Pain's attack had left destruction in its wake. In comparison, it seemed almost unfair that the massacre had caused so little physical damage, the true scar of these streets invisible to those who could not feel it for themselves.

Sasuke felt it, Naruto knew. He felt it every day. It was one of the reasons he stayed away.

"Naruto," said Sakura hesitantly, after the silence had lingered, "Sasuke-kun… Sasuke-kun  _is_  going to come back, isn't he?"

"I don't know." He frowned, looking around them with sad eyes. "This place holds a lot of memories for him."

"No, that's not…" Something in her voice made Naruto turn to look at her. "Not here. To Konoha."

 _Oh._  Naruto straightened, uncertainty gone, replaced with the firm warmth of confidence. "Of course he's coming back! It's his home, after all."

Sakura still looked unsure, so Naruto flashed his bright trademark grin.

"Besides, he knows if he doesn't, I'll just chase after him and drag him back!"

That drew a smile from her, and she laughed. "Always running after him, huh? Even now."

"You bet! I always keep my word!"

Naruto laced his fingers together behind his head as he walked with Sakura, feeling a bit lighter than he had a few moments before. His grin came easier now, and the sun beating down from above seemed to wash away the darkness clinging to his surroundings. He could almost picture what this place had looked like before, back when Uchiha had mingled and chatted in the streets.

Naruto imagined it—shinobi with the clan crest on their back, smiling and waving hello to their neighbors; families walking home and children laughing, holding their parents' hands; a young Sasuke, smiling as he made his way home, happy in a way Naruto had never gotten to see.

Naruto imagined it, and for a moment it was so real that he forgot he was standing in a graveyard.

"Okay," said Naruto. "Where are these catacombs anyway? That's where the tablet's supposed to be, right?"

"That's what Sasuke-kun told Kakashi-sensei. They should be around here, he said there's a passage underground…"

Sakura searched among the wreckage, moving bigger pieces of debris. Naruto's eyes scanned around him, looking for any sort of underground entrance. His eyes landed on a stone wall not far from him, standing tall amidst the rest of the rubble. The Uchiha clan symbol was painted on it, though the color had faded with age. There was a small crack in the wall, barely noticeable, bisecting the image of the paper fan in half. Below it—

Naruto's eyes narrowed, and he walked forward to look closer.  _Is that…?_

Beneath the clan symbol was a shape on the ground, the debris partially concealing it from view. Naruto grew closer and realized it was a man, collapsed and unmoving.

Naruto drew closer, and his eyes grew wide. His feet stopped in their tracks, his breath catching.  _Impossible._

It was impossible because he recognized the man -recognized him as someone who was long dead. Naruto shook his head violently, rubbing his eyes. But the sight before him didn't change, and with the sun shining so brightly, there could be no doubt in what he was seeing. Long, dark hair in a loose ponytail, a black cloak decorated with red clouds, bloodied nails that were painted purple…

"S-Sakura," called Naruto shakily, eyes glued to the body on the ground.

"What?" Sakura asked as she stepped up beside him. "Did you find it—?"

Naruto heard the gasp that escaped her lips, felt her go still and  _stare_. Neither of them spoke, shock freezing their tongues.

Slowly, Naruto ventured forward. He stepped over a few pieces of rubble, then knelt down next to the body, taking in the impossibly familiar features.

_Itachi Uchiha._

Naruto's head spun. He felt impossibly dumb and slow, like his head had been stuffed with cotton balls. On autopilot, he reached out and moved the man's hair away from his neck, pressing two fingers to his throat. His skin was cold, but not deathly so.

Sakura's voice was hushed as she asked, "Is… is he…?"

Naruto kept his fingers there for a few seconds, a jolt of shock going through him as he felt the steady  _thrum-thrum_ of a pulse. He jerked his hand away like it'd been burned, whipping his head in Sakura's direction.

"Get the Hokage.  _Now_."

 

* * *

 

"Explain," Kakashi ordered.

His tone was brusque, demanding obedience in a way that was uncharacteristic of him. He stood in the doorway of the hospital room, and across from him were Sakura and Naruto. Sakura's hair was pulled out of her face, her pinched eyebrows showing her anxiety. Naruto just looked lost.

And laying unconscious on the hospital bed in front of him, breaths shallow but steady, was a very-much-alive Itachi Uchiha.

Kakashi was too tired for this shit.

"I… found him," Naruto said lamely.

"You  _found him_." At Naruto's answering nod, Kakashi sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Ok, Naruto, you're going to have to give me a bit more than that."

Naruto shrugged helplessly. "I don't have more than that," he said. He looked about as lost as Kakashi felt. "We went to the compound like you said, and he was just there on the ground. We don't know what happened."

Kakashi drew close to the hospital bed, eyes sharp. Even in sleep, Itachi Uchiha's face was guarded. He looked about the same as he had the last time Kakashi had seen him, during their brief altercation while pursuing Gaara. All hard edges and sharp angles, he managed to paint an intimidating picture even while unconscious. Sakura was knelt beside him, hands emitting a green glow as she ran them clinically over his body.

It was strange to stand so close to him --- and not just because he was a dead man. Despite now knowing him to be loyal to the Leaf village, Kakashi still couldn't help but look at him and see an S-class missing-nin. Itachi Uchiha was deadly, and years of instinct were screaming at him  _not safe, not safe, not safe_. It felt wrong to stand so close to him --- to let his  _students_ stand so close --- and not be poised to attack.

Naruto peered down at the bed closely --- _much_ too closely, Itachi could kill him in less than a second --- and Kakashi's fingers twitched as he resisted the impulse to shove him away. "Do you think it's the Edo Tensei again?"

It was Sakura who answered, shaking her head without looking up. "The Edo Tensei restored the soul to its body, but it didn't bring the body back to life. The bodies still didn't function at all -- there was no heartbeat, no blood pumping through the veins. There's a reason it's called the reanimation jutsu, not the resurrection jutsu."

"Then what is it?"

"I don't know." She stared down at Itachi, eyes a mixture of awe and confusion. "Besides a lack of chakra, his body is functioning perfectly. As far as I can tell, he's as alive as you or me. If it's a reanimation jutsu, it's a kind I've never seen before."

Kakashi frowned, eyebrows furrowed as he stared down at the unconscious figure. Kakashi remembered clearly how those people under Kabuto's reanimation jutsu had looked. He would never forget the shock of seeing his sensei standing there, his hand wrapped around his wrist halting him from slashing open Obito's throat. Minato had been undeniably dead despite the fact that he had been walking around and talking. His skin had been grey and cracking apart, freezing cold to the touch; there had been no spark of light in his eyes. He hadn't been given life again, none of them had. They'd just been shoved back inside their rotting corpses.

Itachi Uchiha -- if it was truly him -- looked nothing like that. His skin was pale, but there was an unmistakable flush of life to his face. His chest rose and fell as he breathed, puffs of air escaping his lips. Kakashi looked down at him, at the lines around his eyes that made him look so much older than he was, and couldn't help but think mournfully of the young child who had worked under him in ANBU over a decade ago. There was not a hint of that child left in his face. Most people looked younger when they slept; Itachi looked even older.

"Maybe it's like what Nagato did?" Naruto wondered. "You know, when he brought everyone back who'd died?"

"But who would do that?" Sakura wondered. "That jutsu's super powerful. You need the Rinnegan to perform it. And you have to sacrifice your own life. Who would do that just to bring back Itachi?"

"Sasuke," said Naruto immediately, without hesitation. Then his eyes widened in horror as the implications of that sunk in. "Oh God, what if it was  _Sasuke_!? What if he brought Itachi back and is lying dead somewhere and we don't even know because we haven't seen him in months and -"

"Naruto," Kakashi cut him off. " _Breathe_. It wasn't Sasuke. His Rinnegan doesn't possess the ability of the Outer Path."

"Oh," Naruto said, the single sound laced in relief as the panic began to slowly fade from his face. "You're sure?"

"Yes. And even if Sasuke could perform the technique, I doubt he would. A few years ago he probably would have done it. But he knows better now."

Naruto frowned. "But then who would have done it? Sasuke's the only one I can think of who'd want Itachi back that badly."

"We're getting ahead of ourselves. We don't know anything about what happened. We don't even know if it's really  _Itachi_. I'm more concerned with confirming his identity before getting into the how."

"A disguise? You think it's a henge?"

"He has next to no chakra right now," Sakura answered before Kakashi could. She had finished examining the Uchiha and was now standing back up. "He wouldn't be able to sustain a henge in his state. Same with any type of genjutsu."

Naruto threw his hands up in frustration. "Well if it's not that, then it's gotta be him, right? Right!?"

Kakashi closed his eyes. He could feel a migraine developing behind his eyes. This situation was unprecedented, and he didn't know how to proceed. But now his former students were looking at him searchingly; they expected him to know how to deal with this, not just because he was the Hokage, but because he was their sensei. They had grown into extraordinarily capable shinobi, but they still looked to him when they didn't know what to do. He needed to handle this.

"Sakura," he said. "Keep him here in a private ward and monitor him closely. Don't speak about this to anyone but me. Naruto, that includes you. Did anyone see you two bring him here?"

"I don't think so," said Sakura. "Or at least, I don't think anyone recognized him."

"What about Sasuke!?" Naruto burst out. "It's his brother! We can't not tell him! He deserves to know!"

 _Dammit. Sasuke._  Kakashi hadn't even thought about what to do about him. He hadn't been home to the village in months - but Kakashi knew he'd race back to Konoha in a heartbeat if he knew what was happening. Was telling him now the best thing? Naruto was right, Sasuke deserved to know. But what if it wasn't Itachi, and was instead a part of some elaborate ruse? What would telling him do, other than rip open old wounds? Could Kakashi knowingly give him hope at the risk of watching it be crushed?

Naruto read the indecision on his face and grew indignant. "We're not keeping this from him! No way! He needs to be contacted --"

"Not yet," Kakashi said. He looked down at Itachi. "I want to talk with him when he wakes up. Then I'll contact Sasuke."

He only hoped Sasuke wouldn't be too pissed...

 

* * *

 

"He's gonna be pissed," Naruto said, standing outside of the hospital room.

"Oh, definitely," Sakura agreed. She pivoted her head to look down the hall where Kakashi had exited the building mere moments ago. "Still, I get where he's coming from. He doesn't want to get Sasuke-kun's hopes up."

"Yeah, I guess," he said halfheartedly. He still wasn't sure it was the correct decision. "Still, Sasuke's not gonna care about that. He's totally gonna kill him when he finds out."

He leaned his head against the wall, still having trouble processing the entire situation. Itachi Uchiha, back from the dead? It was crazy. It was impossible. How had it happened? Who had done it? Had he been truly revived, the way Madara had been? And if he was alive, if it was really Itachi Uchiha... what was going to  _happen_?

Naruto worried about Sasuke's reaction to the news. He knew how much his friend missed his brother, and how haunted he was by all the sacrifices Itachi had made for his sake. But he also knew that there was a lot of unresolved issues there, a lot of pain Itachi had caused him that hadn't been worked through. Sasuke had finally gotten to an alright place after everything; the last thing Naruto wanted for his friend was for all of that pain to be dredged back up.

"Do you think it's safe, having him in there?" Sakura questioned.

"Sure. I don't see why anyone would be after him."

Sakura gave him a look.  _Oh_ , he thought. She didn't mean safe  _for_  Itachi. She meant safe  _from_  Itachi.

"Itachi's loyal to Konoha, remember?" he reminded her with a frown. "You know the truth about what happened."

"I know," she said uneasily. "It's just... I remember how dangerous he was. His eyes were so  _cold_. It's hard to forget."

Naruto winced. It was understandable for Sakura to be wary of Itachi. She hadn't seen what he had. He had fought alongside Itachi briefly while he was under the reanimation jutsu, and in that short time he had come to respect the man. His devotion to Konoha had been obvious, and his concern for Sasuke had been even more so. But Sakura hadn't been there. The only memories she had of Itachi were of a ruthless S-class criminal - it would be difficult for her to see him as anything other than the man who had ruined Sasuke's life.

"I get that it's difficult to see after everything," he said. "But Itachi loves Konoha more than anyone. He'd never hurt any of the people living here.  _Especially_ not Sasuke."

"He hurt him before," Sakura pointed out, green eyes glistening with poorly-hidden concern.

Naruto went silent at the truth in those words, and remembered icy eyes and a ruthless hand around Sasuke's throat, remembered Sasuke _s_ _creaming_ and    _screaming_ and  _screaming_. He shivered.

"He didn't have a choice," he told her. "He had orders. It's horrible, but he had to do it."

 _Had to kill the clan, sure. But that day at the hotel - Sasuke had already been broken, was it really necessary to break him_ _**again**_ _?_

Naruto shoved the thought away. He understood Itachi's decisions, and the intentions behind them. He didn't necessary agree with all of them, but he understood them.

"At least this means Sasuke-kun will be back now," said Sakura. Naruto forced a grin.

"Yep! And I can finally yell at the bastard for being gone so long!"

There was a lapse in the conversation before Sakura asked hesitantly, "Do you think... Sasuke-kun will be happy if it's really his brother?"

Naruto paused to think. "I don't know," he said. "I think so."  _I hope so_.

 

* * *

 

 _"Itachi_ ,  _just promise me this."_

_His hands were shaking on the hilt of his sword, sticky with blood that wasn't his. He stared down at them, kneeling in front of him on the wooden floor, and his father's words wrapped around his chest and bound him like wire-string._

_"Take care of Sasuke."_

_Tears filled his eyes. Grief and despair rose up in his throat, choking him. "I will," he promised. He thought he might be sick._

_The tears spilled down his cheeks unchecked, fell onto his hands and washed away the blood like rain. He brought his sword down on their necks._

_Blood splashed through the air, red droplets flying, and their bodies crumpled, lifeless at his feet. His father landed face-down against his mother's chest, his blood soaking into her shirt; red pooled around her head, seeping into her dark hair. Itachi shook and shook and_ shook _, and there was a familiar presence beyond the doors, small footsteps against the wooden floor._

_The door opened slowly, and his little brother stepped into a nightmare, his eyes wide and terrified and pleading. "Itachi - "_

Itachi's eyes snapped open to a white ceiling and the smell of antiseptic, his heartbeat loud in his ears. Sasuke's expression, the sheer horror behind his eyes, was burned into the back of his eyelids. He closed his eyes tight, his hands clenching in the sheets of the bed he was laying on, but the memory refused to fade.

"Pleasant dreams?" said a cheery voice, and Itachi's eyes snapped back open to lock on the figure by his bedside. Kakashi Hatake was sitting in a chair against the wall to his left, a book held in his hand as he watched him.

At first glance the man looked relaxed, completely at ease, but Itachi knew him well enough to read the tension in his muscles, the defensive stance he hid behind an open expression and carefree slouch. He didn't look much different than last time Itachi had encountered him. Two dark eyes watched him carefully, and Itachi noted the absence of his Sharingan with some surprise.

His head was fuzzy and disoriented from his dream, his chest aching with a grief that was nearly a decade old. He shoved it down and refocused himself, quickly trying to gain some vigilance in his unfamiliar surroundings. The thought that he'd been so unguarded in someone else's presence made him uncomfortable.

He tried to push himself up from the cot he was laying on, quickly finding his arms to be much more weak than they should be. His unease increased, and he narrowed his eyes at the man in front of him. "What is going on?"

"I was hoping you could tell me that, actually." Kakashi snapped his book closed to give Itachi his full attention, leaning forward. "You were found near the Uchiha compound a few hours ago and brought to the hospital. You've exhausted all of your chakra, so you're probably feeling a bit weak."

That sparked a memory. He remembered now, waking up on the ground, chakra-less and weak as an untrained child. He'd seen the Uchiha clan crest before he'd passed out - he thought he'd only been hallucinating.

"Tell me," Kakashi said to him, his eyes sharp and locked on Itachi's face. "How exactly  _does_ a man come back from the dead?"

Itachi kept his face and eyes blank, revealing nothing of the confusion swirling inside his head. "I fail to see reason why I should offer any information to an enemy."

They locked eyes for a moment, neither of them budging. Then Kakashi sighed. "I don't have time for this, so I'm going to just cut straight to it. The truth about the massacre is now publicly known. I know that you were under orders. So why don't you skip the part where you pretend to be a cold-hearted murderer and instead just cooperate with me."

Itachi wasn't exactly surprised Kakashi knew - he had no idea how much time had passed after all, and Sasuke wasn't likely to keep the information to himself - but he still felt a shock go through him, nonetheless. To hear such a taboo topic be spoken about so bluntly, so openly... it left him feeling unbalanced.

"You asked me what was going on," said Itachi. He kept his tone neutral, though not as cold as it had been previously. "This means you don't know?"

"No. We have no idea how this has happened. And from your confusion, I gather you don't either." His former senpai sank back into the chair, sighing in disappointment. "Damn."

Itachi remained silent for a moment, weighing his thoughts. "Kakashi-san - "

"Sama, actually," the man corrected, looking a bit sheepish. Upon catching Itachi's perplexed look, he clarified, "I'm Hokage now, it seems. I know, I was shocked as well. If I'd known I'd be dealing with mysterious resurrections, I might've considered turning it down."

Itachi didn't react, though inwardly he felt a flash of surprise. It wasn't that he thought Kakashi incapable of being Hokage - quite the opposite - but rather, Kakashi had never seemed like the type of man to want the position. Still, it explained why he was the one here talking to him instead of the Godaime.

He frowned slightly. "How long..."

"You've been dead for over four years now," said Kakashi. "The war's been over for nearly that long. We beat Madara and the Akatsuki have disbanded. The Five Nations are at peace."

Itachi tried to process this---and failed. It was wonderful news, but it was too much at once. His head spun like crazy trying to take it all in. Still, one burning question rose above the noise, begging to be voiced.

"And..." he hesitated, unwilling to make himself vulnerable in any way, but deciding there was no point if the truth was already known, "And Sasuke?"

Kakashi hesitated. Itachi could tell he was still suspicious of the situation. But then he said, "He's alive," and Itachi had to fight incredibly hard to conceal the wave of relief that crashed over him. "Not in the village currently, but I'll be contacting him."

An emotion he couldn't identify welled up in his chest at the thought - of seeing Sasuke, of speaking with him. He remembered once again how lost his brother had looked, how pained, when he'd pressed their foreheads together. _I will love you always._  He forced it away for now.

"I assume by your hesitance to give me information that you doubt I am who I appear."

"One of the medical ninjas checked you over while you were unconscious, and nothing seemed off. However, until we have further proof of your identity there are certain things I can't risk telling you."

Itachi inclined his head. "I understand."

Kakashi stood from his chair, stuffing his book in the front pocket of his vest. "Good. You are to remain here until I say otherwise. Your identity will need to be confirmed before we can decide how else to proceed."

Kakashi walked toward the door, but paused, hesitating just before he exited. He looked back, his eyes serious.

"This village is indebted to you," he said. "What was asked of you went far beyond the call of duty, and Konoha owes you its gratitude. Thank you."

Itachi had no idea what to say to that, struck silent. The door closed with a soft click, those two words still echoing in Itachi's ears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm super nervous about how I wrote Itachi... he's such a complex character and ive never written him before...


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry I took so long, you guys! I meant to update this story within a month, but it's been over two now. This chapter just refused to be written for the longest time, but then a few days ago I got inspired to finally start it and stop neglecting this story. I ended up writing it in less than 2 days :)
> 
> Just to be safe, warning for a panic attack near the end of the chapter.

“Your mind is all kinds of screwed up,” the Yamanaka told him after less than twenty seconds inside his head.

Itachi wasn't sure what to say to that, and simply raised an eyebrow at the woman. Quickly growing unnerved, she dropped her hand from his shoulder—the point of physical contact she had used to establish the link between their minds—and stepped away from him. The place where her hand had been prickled uncomfortably.

“Well?” Kakashi was leaning against the closed door of the ward, where he'd been observing as the she rooted through his mind. “What's the verdict?”

“Itachi Uchiha, from everything I saw,” the Yamanaka told him. She looked slightly familiar, though Itachi couldn't place from where. “His mind's locked up tight, so I only got a cursory glance, but I didn't sense any type of deceit. Everything felt genuine.”

Kakashi made a thoughtful noise. “Only a cursory glance, huh?”

“He's a locked box,” she said with a glance in his direction. “I could go in deeper, but it would take a lot more time—”

Itachi's muscles tensed very slightly. Allowing someone to skim the surface of his mind had already made him extremely uncomfortable; the idea of her delving any deeper than that was terrifying. There was a reason he locked up his mind so tightly. His head was a tangled mess of wires, and some doors were meant to stay shut.

His expression didn't change, but his face must have done _something_ , because after glancing at him, Kakashi shook his head.

“No, that's fine. You're sure? Nothing felt… _off_?”

“His mind felt no different than anyone else's. The feelings I got were authentic. If he's not Itachi Uchiha, he fully believes that he is.”

Kakashi nodded. “Thank you, Ino.”

The woman nodded with a respectful bow, and Kakashi moved from the door to allow her to exit. Then he turned his gaze back on Itachi.

“Is that adequate proof for you?” Itachi asked.

“As much proof as I'm gonna get.” The Sixth leaned against the hospital door with a sigh. “It's looking like you really are Itachi. Honestly, it would've been a lot easier if you were just an imposter. This opens up a whole set of questions I don't have answers to. You really don't remember _anything_?”

“Just waking up.” Itachi thought back to that moment—the strangeness of feeling the sun on his face and the dirt beneath his fingers. “I was in the Uchiha compound. I tried to get up, but I was too weak and passed out. Then I woke up in here.”

“What about before that? What do you last remember then?”

The memory hit him strongly, and his chest tightened. He'd been told it was nearly four years ago, but to him it felt like yesterday. He remembered the anguish in his little brother's eyes as he smiled and told him he loved him. The corpse his soul had been stuffed in had been unable to feel any type of physical sensation, and he remembered resting their foreheads together, wishing more than anything he could feel the warmth of Sasuke's skin. He remembered the feeling of his body crumbling; he'd been sad to go, but he'd been content in the knowledge that he'd said all that needed to be said. Sasuke would be okay.

And then he'd opened his eyes what seemed like seconds later, and he still didn't know how he felt about it.

“I remember being under the Edo Tensei,” he responded. “I'd managed to break the control Kabuto had over my body, and Sasuke and I incapacitated him to put an end to the jutsu. My spirit left my body, and then… I was here.”

Kakashi frowned beneath his mask, deep in thought. Itachi watched him in silence, reminded of their days together in ANBU. The majority of their operations had been stealth missions; sometimes they would sit together for hours, not moving, not speaking. The quiet became comfortable.

It wasn't comfortable now. Nothing felt comfortable. He felt displaced in his own skin, and the entire world felt unbalanced. He'd been prepared to die, spent the past eight years of his life meticulously planning every little detail that would lead to his death. Now all the blueprints had been thrown out, and he didn't have a map to work from. He'd accomplished everything he set out to do. He'd protected Konoha. He'd given Sasuke the vengeance he'd desired, allowed him to have closure. Sasuke had killed him. He wasn't supposed to _survive_ , he was supposed to be _dead_. He'd _expected_ to be dead.

He'd never thought about what he might do if he lived. He hadn't allowed himself to hope, to _want_ , because it had never been a possibility. He'd always planned to die. He'd made that resolution the moment Danzo had given him the order. He’d signed his own death certificate the moment he’d brought his sword down on their necks.

Now, he was alive—shocked back into a world he'd made peace with leaving behind. And he had nothing to guide him this time, no goal or purpose to direct his focus toward. He was just _here_. Somehow.

What the hell was he supposed to do?

“I contacted Sasuke,” Kakashi broke the silence, and his brother's name brought Itachi's mind snapping sharply out of his spiraling thoughts. “He's out of the village on a mission, but the letter should have reached him by now. He'll be back in a couple days, maybe less.”

An emotion Itachi couldn't quite identify flared sharply in his chest. He wasn't sure what he was feeling. Nervousness? Excitement? Dread?

“What did you tell him?”

“Just to return home. I figure ‘your brother's mysteriously back from the dead' is probably something he best heard in person.”

Kakashi’s face became pinched, as though he was already imagining how that conversation would go. Itachi mused over the man's wording. _Return home._ He wondered, did Sasuke consider Konoha home? Had he managed to put aside his hatred and forgive the Leaf for what they had done? Had he forgiven Itachi?

“Kakashi-sama—”

“Maah.” The man waved his hand through the air at the honorific. “Don't bother with that, I was just kidding before.”

“Sasuke…” Itachi paused, still not used to not having to hide his care for his brother. “Is he… happy?”

Kakashi paused, his eyes becoming pensive. It was a long moment before he spoke.

“He's better,” he said finally, his words carefully chosen. “He's a lot better.”

Itachi nodded, running the word through his head, analyzing every inch of the way it was said. _Better_.

The door opened suddenly, knocking into Kakashi who was leaning against it.

“Oh! Sorry, sensei!”

A young woman with pink hair slipped into the room. Itachi recognized her immediately as one of Sasuke's former genin teammates, though he couldn't recall her name. Her hair was pulled back as was standard for med-nins. Her entire body radiated nervousness.

“I'm supposed to be checking on all the patients,” she said.

Kakashi gave her a pointed look. “And you thought you should come _here_?”

The woman pressed her lips together, but didn't say anything. From the look she was getting, it was clear she knew not to come in this room. Itachi could tell she knew who he was from her body language and the way she kept glancing at him anxiously from the corner of her eyes. Hadn't Kakashi said a med-nin had checked him over after he'd been found?

Kakashi looked between them unsurely, before sighing. “Oh, fine. But don't be getting loose-lipped!”

He gave Itachi a wave before slipping out.

Itachi watched the young woman curiously as she approached him. He remembered her from his altercation with Kakashi; she had never spoken, but Itachi clearly recalled the loathing in her green eyes, the desire to _destroy_. He also recalled a child with the same eyes, same hair, dogging his brother's footsteps at the Academy, grasping desperately for just a hint of his attention.

“Itachi Uchiha,” she greeted him. Her voice was professional—neither warm or cold. “I'm Sakura Haruno.”

He nodded. “You're Sasuke's teammate.”

Her lips thinned, and she nodded. He waited for her to speak, but she remained silent, shuffling her feet nervously. Her eyes avoided looking directly at him.

And just like that, all of a sudden, it hit Itachi that this young woman he was looking at… this young woman who stood before him, who couldn't be any older than twenty… this young woman whom he vaguely remembered from years before, once a tiny child no taller than his hip… she was almost the exact same age as his little brother.

It hit him like a chidori through the chest, sudden and unexpected. _Four years._

The age gap between them had been shortened by his death, but for the first time since waking, Itachi realized he had absolutely no idea what to expect when he finally saw Sasuke again. When he saw him again, Sasuke would no longer be the angry, lost, hurting child he had left behind. He would be completely different. He would be a man.

Itachi wasn't sure how he was going to handle that. He allowed himself to wonder for a moment what Sasuke would look like. Would he be tall, like their father? Would his hair be longer or shorter? Would his skin still look pale as porcelain, just as their mother’s had been? He tried to picture his little brother’s eyes, tried to imagine a lightness to them he remembered from before everything went wrong, tried to picture them brimming with happiness and contentment now that all was said and done. Itachi tried his best to build an image of a warm, loving Sasuke with happy eyes, but all that came were pools of black filled with anguish and darkness.

 _That Sasuke is gone,_ his mind whispered, heedless of the way it tore his heart. _You destroyed him._

Itachi shoved the thoughts from his head and forced himself to refocus. “Was there something you wanted, Haruno-san?” he inquired.

The woman, Sakura, released a shaky breath through her lips, then squared her shoulders, staring directly at him. Her eyes, previously unsure, were now like steel.

“Sasuke-kun means a great deal to me,” she said. “I don't know how you've come back, but if it makes him even the tiniest bit happy, then I'm glad. Everyone's known the truth about the massacre since the war ended—everything you did to keep Konoha safe.”

Itachi waited, not speaking. He could hear the _but_ on the end of that sentence.

“I can't imagine what you must have gone through,” she told him, and she sounded genuinely sympathetic, “but what you did to Sasuke-kun is still unforgivable. He tore himself apart because of you—I watched it happen. You broke him, and that doesn't change, however good your intentions. I will never forgive you for that.”

Itachi said nothing, didn't bother to defend himself against her words. He knew them to be true. He let them sink into his chest and wrap around his lungs, whispering to him every time he breathed. _You broke him, you broke him._

He killed their clan in cold blood, then trapped his eight-year-old brother in a Tsukuyomi and made him _watch_ it, over and over and over. He'd told his brother he'd never loved him, that he wasn't even worth enough to kill, and he'd smiled in the face of his tears. He'd felt Sasuke's bones break beneath his hands, felt his throat bruise beneath his fingers; he’d taken a hold of his brother's mind, and he’d listened to it _snap_ with a grin on his face and delight in his eyes.

Sakura Haruno hated him. That was fine. That was expected.

He hated himself more than she could ever hate him.

“I won't let you hurt him again,” she told him fiercely.

Itachi's eyes sharpened. He usually fought to conceal his feelings; now he made sure she could see them. “I would never hurt Sasuke. Not again."

“I bet you said that before, too.”

Her words gave him pause. Because they were true, weren't they? Hadn't he always told Sasuke, before the massacre, that he would never let anyone hurt him? That ‘ _big brother will always protect you_ ’? Yet despite all the promises made, look what he had done.

 _I would never hurt Sasuke._ Those words meant nothing. They were meaningless.

“I know you're loyal to Konoha,” said Sakura. “You remind me of Naruto in that way. You would die for this village easily. You give everything to keep it safe, even when all it does is take in return. But there's one way in which you and Naruto will always differ.”

He looked at her, knowing he didn't want to hear it, but asking anyway. “And what's that?”

She smiled sadly. “You'll always be a shinobi before a brother.”

The words hit him squarely in the heart, spreading across his lungs like ice. He barely reacted, but he felt like he'd been punched.

_You'll always be a shinobi before a brother._

Because he couldn't deny it. As much as every cell in his body wanted to, _he couldn't deny it._

His words to Sasuke came back to him: _No matter what lies and contradictions may lay within the village, I am still Itachi Uchiha of the Leaf._

“I don't know if there will ever come a time when your love for Sasuke-kun and Konoha need to be weighed, but I won't see him hurt like that again. He deserves so much better than what you've given him.”

Itachi stared at her—at the passion in her eyes, and the set of her jaw, and the steel in her voice. He heard the devotion in each of her words, and saw the protectiveness written in every line of her stance.

“You're in love with him,” he realized.

Sakura's cheeks colored slightly, but her gaze never wavered.

“Hurt him,” she said, “and I'll kill you. I don't care how powerful you are, I'll find a way.”

Itachi stared at this woman, and the threat should have been ludicrous. She wasn't much younger than him, but he could tell that in terms of skill, she was a child compared to him. It would be too easy to kill her; he could do it right now, and she wouldn't even realize what had happened until her body had hit the floor.

Yet, somehow, Sakura Haruno declared she would kill him, and looking into her eyes, sharp and firm and determined—

Itachi's lips turned up into a smile. He believed her.

 

* * *

 

  
One day later, Sasuke Uchiha stepped back into Konoha, exhaustion weighing heavily on his shoulders.

He walked down the path that would lead him to Hokage Tower, taking in the familiar sight with weary eyes. The mission had been simple enough—the elimination of a group of fanatics that sought to carry on Madara's ideals—but tailing them had dragged out much longer than he'd thought it would, and by the time he'd caught up with them, the lack of proper sleep had gotten to him. He'd received Kakashi's missive not even five minutes after, the blood still drying on his hand. He'd been ordered back to Konoha immediately. Kakashi hadn't said why, but Sasuke had gotten the sense it was urgent.

He watched the villagers as they milled about the streets and buildings. Nothing seemed to be in disrepair, so at least he knew the village hadn't been attacked in his absence.

He passed by the Academy. There were a pair of children goofing around out in front, and Sasuke watched their laughing faces, feeling a strange sort of disconnect with his body.

After letting Naruto drag him back, returning to the village after a long mission should be a relief. It should feel like coming home.

It still didn't.

Sasuke didn't know what was so wrong with him, that his brain simply refused to let him have peace—refused to let him _let go_. Every day that went by, every day that Konoha was still in one piece and not burnt to ashes like the bodies of his family, he wondered if he’d made the right decision in letting it stand.

It wasn't that he still wanted to destroy the village—not really.

But it still felt like he was betraying them sometimes.

It hadn't been that he'd suddenly had a change of heart, bleeding out at the Valley of the End with Naruto doing the same beside him. It hadn't been that he'd found it in himself to forgive the village for its sins. Konoha had caused his clan to be annihilated. It had drenched his brother's hands in blood and shame, and had screwed him up beyond any hope of repair. Konoha had been guilty.

It still was. That hadn't changed.

_I lost._

Sasuke looked back on that admission and wondered.

When he’d said it, he hadn’t been giving up his conviction that the village elders—the village itself—deserved the same death and destruction that they had judged his family worthy of. Everything Naruto had ever told him, all those words about friendship and bonds and every other topic he would wax poetic on, given half a chance—those hadn’t invalidated Sasuke’s hatred.

They still didn't.

Sasuke had heard a lot of talk to the contrary during his trial, a small handful of very stubborn people who’d insisted that he’d “given up” that hatred when he hadn’t. He’d just given up his hopes of revenge. They weren’t the same thing.

He’d just been so damn _tired_.

And that had always been Naruto’s biggest advantage. When it came to stubbornness, to pushing a point until you were ready to give in just to make him shut the hell up for five seconds, no one could match him. Not even Sasuke.

So instead of giving his hatred up, he’d given it over to Naruto. And Naruto had turned it into motivation. Motivation to tear the old Konoha down, and build a new one in its place. One free of the senseless hatred that had drenched it in the past.

Sasuke wasn't sure if a place like that existed. But he was willing to stick around to find out.

“Sasuke!”

 _Speaking of loud-mouthed idiots_ , Sasuke thought, just as Naruto barreled into him.

So lost in thought, he'd failed to notice he'd been passing the ramen stand. Naruto wrapped his arms around him, clinging to him like a particularly stubborn leech.

“Naruto,” Sasuke greeted. “Let go of me, idiot.”

Naruto huffed, but pulled away from him. “Don't be like that. You've been gone for nearly a month! We missed you!”

A slight warmth bloomed in his chest. He looked away, unsure of what to say at the proclamation. “It took longer than I expected.”

“You could have written, ya know!” Naruto punched him in the shoulder hard. The elation at seeing him had worn off, replaced by familiar annoyance. This, Sasuke knew how to deal with. “You missed my wedding, you bastard!”

Sasuke shrugged his shoulders. “You got my letter, didn't you? I said congratulations.”

“That's not the point! I had to make Gaara my best man!”

“I fail to see the issue.”

“Ughhh!”

A smirk pulled at Sasuke's lips, and he watched in amusement as his friend flailed around, waving his arms around as he ranted at him, making an embarrassment of himself. He stopped immediately once he realized that Sasuke had been purposely goading him, and his face became more serious.

“But seriously, I'm glad Kakashi-sensei told you,” he said. “I thought he should've told you immediately. Keeping it a secret, even for a few days, isn't right—”

Sasuke frowned in confusion. Naruto continued talking.

“I mean, I understand why he didn't tell you right away, but still. If anyone's got a right to know about Itachi being alive, it—”

“ _What_ ,” said Sasuke sharply. It felt like a surge of electricity going through him, the voltage slowly being dialed up until it sat at the highest setting. His eyes were wide, his body rooted in place.

Naruto fell silent, then his face went slack with horror. “Shit,” he said. “Did he not tell you?”

Sasuke stood there for another moment, his feet paralyzed, then his body jolted into motion. He spun on his heel, his cloak whipping behind him, and took off toward Hokage Tower. Naruto's eyes were wide in panic, and he lunged at him, trying to get him to stop.

“Wait—”

Sasuke used a shunshin to flicker away, seconds before Naruto’s hand could grab onto his shoulder.

  
  


  
The guards at the door took one look at him, and moved away to let him enter. He barged into the Hokage's office, cloak flapping and eyes blazing.

“Tell me about Itachi. _Now_.”

Kakashi looked up from behind his desk. His face cycled through a myriad of emotions before finally settling on resignation. “Who told you?”

“Naruto.” Sasuke refused to be cowed by Kakashi’s obvious exhaustion, kept his anger burning bright. “What did he mean by _Itachi being alive_.”

It wasn't phrased like a question. Kakashi sighed. “You should probably sit down.”

Sasuke remained standing.

“Naruto and Sakura went to check out what you said about that tablet,” he began, when it became clear his student wasn't going to take his advice. “They found your brother in the compound, and once they realized he was alive, brought him to me.”

“And you didn't think you should tell me?” Sasuke snapped.

Rage was spreading in his chest like a match against a gasoline line. He wasn't even sure why he was angry—perhaps anger was simply his default—but whatever the reason, he held the emotion close and wrapped it around himself protectively. Anger was blinding. Anger was familiar.

Anger meant he didn't have to _think_ , a litany of _ItachiItachiItachi_ drowning out everything in his head.

“I didn't want to get your hopes up,” Kakashi tried to placate him. “We have no idea how it happened, and I didn't even know if it was him. I still don't, really.”

“Of course it's not him!” he exploded, ignoring the tiny whisper of _but is it?_ in his mind. “You can't bring the dead back to life!”

“The reanimation jutsu—”

“You need a body for that! Itachi's body _crumbled_ _to_ _dust_! I _watched_ it!”

Kakashi sighed, and Sasuke suddenly hated him for looking so tired. “I thought it might've been a trick at first as well,” he said. “But everything seems to point toward it really being him.”

Sasuke's only hand was shaking. He could taste his own heart in his throat, hear his own pulse in his ears.

“Take me to him,” he said.

Kakashi led him to the hospital and to the correct ward. On the way, he explained the situation in more detail, but Sasuke hardly listened. It was taking all his willpower to keep his panic locked down. There was no way this could be his brother. Who would want to bring Itachi Uchiha back to life? Nearly everyone who had known him was dead. And like he’d told Kakashi, reanimation jutsus required the body of the deceased to work. Itachi's body was long gone, crumbled into matter and dust on the floor of an abandoned cave.

It made much more sense for this to be some sort of trickery, some sort of infiltration attempt by an enemy. Who it was for, he couldn't be sure. Was it a threat to Konoha? Or was the target aimed directly at him?

They reached the door to the ward much too fast. Sasuke wasn't ready.

Kakashi frowned behind his mask. “I should probably warn him first—”

Sasuke pushed passed him and threw the door open.

It was a punch in the chest, the kind that stole the air from your lungs and left you gasping long after it was over. He world fell out from under his feet. The man staring back at him from the bed was a ghost, a memory long buried and locked tightly away. Dark hair pulled back into a loose ponytail, a lined face with dark eyes far older than his age, that stupid purple nail polish the Akatsuki had worn—

Rage flared in him, brighter even than when he'd faced Danzo on that bridge.

“Sasuke…!” Kakashi called in warning, but Sasuke ignored him as he walked forward angrily. He vaguely noted the surprise in Itachi's— _not Itachi's!_ —eyes, but paid it no mind as gripped the imposter by the hair, forcing his head back so Sasuke could meet his eyes.

His Sharingan activated. The three tomoe in his uncovered eye whirled, coming together to form a six-pointed star, and then he was falling—

_(—five years old standing on the dock and Father stands behind you as you flash through the hand-signs, and fire bursts from your lips and out above the water as pride bursts in your chest, and you look up at Father and he's beaming at you, patting you on the head, “That's my boy—”_

_—staring down at the wriggly bundle of blankets in your arms, at the tuft of black hair peeking out and dark eyes staring up at you in wonder, and Mother directs your arms gently, patiently, “Careful with his head, sweetie, hold him like—”_

_—slicing a kunai across the Sound ninja's throat, watching as he gasps for air and his eyes go dull and the blood drips down his neck and over your steady fingers—_

_—a soft smile gracing your lips as you stare down at your baby brother's hopeful face, heart heavy with sadness as you knock two fingers against his forehead, “Sorry, Sasuke, maybe next time,” and his face falls with disappointment, and you wish you could reach out and wipe it away—_

_—staring in horror as Shisui falls backward, body arching gracefully as he tips over the edge, heart in your throat and desperation clawing at your insides as your fingers reach out and brush against his chest—_

_—sword shaking in your hand, your insides a broken, tangled mess as blood splatters through the air and onto your hands, and their bodies fall to the ground as the door is shoved open—_

_—on your knees on the roof of Hokage Tower, the Third Hokage's back facing you as your hair blows in the breeze, your mouth tasting like blood and ash as you report, “It is done—"_

_—standing beside Kisame, watching with cold and impassive eyes as the man brings his sword down on the young child's neck as he laughs, turning your back on the pleas—_

_—the snap as your brother's bones break beneath your hands, indifference on your face as he falls, crying out silently, **forgive me forgive me forgive me** —_

_—looking into the hate-filled eyes that you created, the darkness etched in every angle of your little brother's face, unfeeling and cruel, your heart dying in your chest as you realize, **oh god what have I done** —_

_—fingers reaching out and smearing blood down a terrified face, a farewell, a goodbye, a swan song, “Sorry, Sasuke, but this is—”)_

Sasuke broke the genjutsu like breaking the water's surface, pulling away sharply before the current of emotions could drag him back under.

He released his grip on Itachi’s hair--- _Itachi, Itachi, it's Itachi_ —in a daze, as the world spun around him and the floor turned slanted beneath his feet. He felt disconnected, like he was hovering outside his own body, and Itachi— _Itachi!_ —was in front of him, staring at him with wide, fathomless eyes, and Sasuke had never seen his face so expressive, but the image was blurry, and his breath caught in his lungs and stuttered passed his lips.

His own pulse in his ears drowned out everything else, and his brother's lips were moving, but he couldn't hear what he was saying—his name, maybe. The world was _loud loud loud_ , and his heart was trying to claw its way out of his throat, and he didn't know what was happening.

His vision was red with his parents' blood, his ears filled with his own screams, and he choked on a memory of anguish that wasn't his own. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't _breathe_.

Someone reached out to touch him, and he flinched violently away, stumbling blindly toward the door. Hysteria rose up in his throat, and he knocked into someone in his desperation to _escape_.

Sasuke struggled to steady himself, to hold himself together for just a few more moments. He managed to make it down the stairs and out of the building, before he fell to his knees in the grass, shaking and shaking and _shaking_.

Itachi. That was Itachi. Itachi was—

Sasuke's throat closed up. It was too bright outside, and the light hurt his head. He couldn't get in a breath, but despite this his lungs seemed to pick up pace, his heart pounding to a staccato beat. His pulse was racing, and his head was spinning, but his hand was a forced stillness among the panic, and he clutched at his hair with his fingers, and—

And Naruto Uzumaki, with his horribly perfect and terrifically terrible timing, was suddenly kneeling beside him, blue eyes bright and worried.

“Hey.” Naruto grabbed his left arm just above where it'd been severed, a steady point of contact in the raging storm. “Are you okay? Sasuke?”

Sasuke tried to shove him away, embarrassment burning through him at Naruto seeing him like this, but his head was woozy and his body wasn't working like he wanted. “I don't—I can't—”

Realization flashed across the blonde’s face.

“Sasuke.” His voice was calm but firm, cutting through the chaos in Sasuke's head. “You're having a panic attack. You have to calm down.”

“A—a what?” he gasped.

“A panic attack. I had one when—nevermind, it doesn't matter. But you need to slow down your breathing, or you're gonna pass out.”

He shook his head. The world was a kaleidoscope of color. “I… I can't—”

_Itachi—Itachi's alive. How—_

“You can.” Naruto pried Sasuke's only hand from his hair and pressed it against his chest. “You feel that? Match your breathing to me. One… two…”

Naruto counted up slowly. Sasuke gasped, feeling the steady beat of Naruto's heart beneath his fingers. Naruto was sitting cross-legged in front of him, and he scooted closer so their knees pressed together. He could feel the warmth from their point of contact, grounding him.

His breathing came in stuttered spurts, catching in his chest. He recalled his brother's face before he'd fled, mouthing a word Sasuke couldn't hear—and he remembered that same face stained with blood, a gentle smile on his lips as lifeless eyes stared up at the sky.

Sasuke shook. His mouth tasted like ash.

“I can't go back in there,” he gasped. “I _can't_.”

“Ok,” Naruto said gently, his voice lacking its usual exuberance. He didn't ask what Sasuke meant, didn't ask for an explanation. “You don't have to.”

Sasuke squeezed his eyes shut tightly. He leaned his forehead against his best friend's shoulder, allowed himself to be weak in Naruto's presence just for a moment. Naruto sat there with him quietly, breathing with him as his heartbeat steadied.

“It's okay,” Naruto whispered. “You're okay.”

 

* * *

 

“Give him a moment to calm down,” Kakashi had said before making his exit. Itachi stared at the door where his little brother had just fled, mind still reeling from his mental attack.

Sasuke's attack had been swift and viscous, smashing through all his barriers and into his head before Itachi had even realized what had happened. He'd been left gasping from all the memories suddenly flooding to the surface, and had barely had time to gasp out Sasuke's name before his brother was already gone.

He hadn't even gotten a proper look at him. Only dark hair parted to the side and a pale face before the Mangekyou had sucked him in.

 _Well, he's certainly gotten more skilled_ , Itachi thought.

Memories he'd kept locked tightly away, stuffed inside boxes on high shelves, were now spilling everywhere, leaving his mind bleeding. Itachi fought through the sudden influx of feelings, struggling to maintain his composure.

Kakashi had told him to let Sasuke calm down, so he did. He waited there, piecing his mind back together slowly, gathering up all the sharp edges and once again hiding them away. He waited twenty minutes, then forty, then an hour. The door didn't open.

Sasuke didn't come back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> poor sasuke :( he's not handling this well you guys...


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the long wait, you guys! I've been super busy with work and school, I've barely had any time to write. And this chapter ended up being a lot longer than the other two.

Kakashi was in the middle of his fourth stack of paperwork when Sasuke barged into his office without knocking.

“Yes, please, come in,” he said sarcastically, as the Uchiha strode up to his desk. “You know, I do have a door for a reason.”

 _Though apparently not any security_ , he thought. Seriously, what were his guards doing? Sleeping?

(Though, secretly, he was glad for the interruption. If he'd known the Hokage's job was eighty percent paperwork, he never would have accepted the position.)

“What's going to happen to Itachi?” his student asked.

Kakashi sighed, placing his pen on the desk as he looked up. He could feel a migraine coming on. “There's never any chitchat with you, is there?”

Sasuke gave him a flat look. Kakashi frowned as he got a good look at him. His face was drawn and pale, and his entire posture was lined with exhaustion. There were dark circles under his eyes.

“Are you okay?” he asked. “You look tired.”

“I'm fine,” he said curtly, in a tone that meant _drop it_. “Itachi. What are you doing with him?”

“I thought you weren't speaking with him.”

He could almost _feel_ Sasuke grinding his jaw. His glare was a force to be reckoned with. “ _Kakashi_.”

Kakashi couldn't help the fond twitch his lips gave at the casual form of address. It was appallingly rude, considering his position. But that was just Sasuke. Even as the kid's teacher, he had always been _Kakashi_ , never _sensei_.

“I'm not sure. To be honest, I was fully prepared for it to be a hoax and not be Itachi at all. That's why I didn't tell you right away.”

The tightening of Sasuke's jaw told Kakashi exactly what he thought about _that_ decision. “And now that you're sure it's him? He can't just stay hidden in the hospital. He needs a shower, clothes. A place to stay—”

“Are you volunteering?”

Sasuke drew back slightly, then his eyes hardened. “ _No_. That isn't—I didn't mean _me_.”

“Why not?” Kakashi asked. His student looked at him as though he were being deliberately obtuse, and he leaned forward with a sigh. “Look, your apartment is pretty much always empty, anyway. With all the missions you go on, it's not as if you're ever there. You'll barely have to ever see him.”

Sasuke shifted slightly. “Actually, I was thinking about sticking around for a while. Holding off on any more missions.”

Kakashi felt his eyebrows rise in surprise. With all the avoiding Sasuke was doing, Kakashi had figured he'd be all too eager to get out of the village and hit the road again.

“If that's okay,” Sasuke added.

“Of course,” he said. “You take on too many missions as it is. This place is your home. You have friends here who miss you.”

Sasuke looked uncomfortable at the reminder. “I need to find out what happened with Itachi—how this happened. After that, I'll be gone again.”

Kakashi observed the firm expression on his face, and he knew he wouldn't be able to change his mind. Sasuke might have sworn his loyalty to Konoha, but he still didn't consider it his home. He refused to build a life here.

Sadness flashed through him as he looked up at the young man in front of him—so different from the kid who had first crashed into his life, but in many ways, still exactly the same.

 _When will you stop running away?_ he wondered.

“That's why I'm here,” Sasuke said. “You said there are no leads on how my brother is back.”

“Not yet,” Kakashi agreed. “Why? Did you have any ideas?”

“No, but I know someone who might.” Sasuke pressed his lips together, his eyes locking with Kakashi’s. “Let me go see _him_.”

Kakashi didn't have to ask who Sasuke meant. He frowned. “I don't know if I like the idea of you visiting him.”

Irritation flashed across Sasuke's face. “I'm not going to betray you, if that's what you—”

“It's not,” he was quick to say. “But last time—”

“I won't take him anywhere this time,” he swore. “I'm just going to pay him a visit to see if he knows anything.”

Kakashi frowned. He didn't like it. He hadn't liked it the first time, when he'd heard about it from Tenzo.

“I'm the only one he'll talk to,” Sasuke said, and Kakashi knew he was right.

Kakashi sighed. “Alright, fine. I'll tell Yamato you're coming. But you come straight back after, no wasting time.”

Sasuke gave him a look, as if the idea that he would ever _waste time_ was downright insulting. It probably was.

“Thank you,” he said, spinning on his heel to exit the room he'd just barged into.

“Wait, Sasuke,” he called. Sasuke paused by the doorway.

“About what I said about Itachi,” he said. He could see Sasuke's muscles tense, his back straightening. He sighed, and ventured cautiously, “I know things are overwhelming right now. And I know you’re struggling. But Itachi… he doesn't really have anyone right now. You're all that he's got.”

Sasuke was silent, standing with his back to him, his hand frozen on the doorknob. His entire body was coiled tightly. A long moment passed before he spoke.

“I won't promise anything,” he responded softly. Kakashi let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding, his lips curving up beneath his mask.

“I'm not asking you to,” he said. “I'm only asking that you think about it.”

 

* * *

 

Despite his request being approved, Sasuke exited the building with a heavy mind and an even heavier heart.

The events of two days ago had been on constant repeat in his head, never allowing him a moment's rest. He couldn't close his eyes without seeing his brother's face, eyes wide with shock as Sasuke had grabbed him by the hair and yanked his head back.

He'd never seen Itachi look so floored. He had always been so composed, so collected.

He supposed it was only to be expected, the way Sasuke had barged in and then brutally ripped through his mind. He might've felt guilty, if he wasn't still so overwhelmed by the situation (also, if Itachi hadn't done the exact same thing to him multiple times).

He'd been avoiding thinking about it, because whenever he did, it felt like he couldn't breathe. He felt like he had outside of the hospital, panic suffocating him as he gasped desperately for breaths that wouldn't come.

 _I'm only asking that you think about it,_ Kakashi had said.

So, Sasuke did think about it. He thought of Itachi coming to live with him in his small, two-bedroom apartment. He thought about Itachi sleeping just down the hall, about him sitting at the table in the morning. He thought about Itachi being _there_ , right next to him, close enough to reach out and touch if he wanted.

It was enough to make him panic again, his pulse jumping and his hand shaking. He couldn't even _think_ about his brother without being sent into a tailspin. _Living_ with him…

 _No_. He _couldn't_.

Sasuke brought his hand up to reposition his bangs over his eye, his fingers still shaking. He couldn't deal with this right now; his own emotions were choking him, and they made it impossible to think. He needed to focus on what was important, which was how Itachi was back. That, at least, he could handle.

He'd deal with the rest later, when he felt less like he was falling apart.

“Hey!” Sasuke tensed at the sudden voice, a flash of bright blonde hair momentarily obstructing his vision. “There you are!”

Naruto planted himself in front of him, forcing Sasuke's feet to a halt. Sasuke bit down on a surge of irritation as he looked into his grinning face.

“Naruto.”

Naruto was unaffected by his clipped tone of voice. “Where have you been? I've been looking for you everywhere, you know.”

 _Yeah_ , Sasuke thought, recalling all of the ducking around he'd had to do these past two days, _I know._

Naruto shook his head. “Well, whatever, you're here now. You should stop by today and have dinner with us. Hinata’s been worried.”

Sasuke blinked. “She has?” he asked, feeling slightly perplexed. He and Hinata had barely ever spoken—what reason would she have to worry for him?

Naruto rolled his eyes. “Well, _yeah_ ,” he replied, as if it should have been obvious. “So what do you say? Dinner?”

Sasuke made a face just thinking about it—sitting down at a table for a meal, forced to participate in boring, unimportant small talk. To say he'd rather stab his eyes out would be an understatement.

“Thanks,” he said, “but I'll pass. I'm heading out, anyway.”

Confusion flashed over Naruto's face, replaced with dawning realization.

“Oh no!” he yelled, pointing an accusing finger at him. “Don't tell me you're heading out on another mission already! Not with everything that happened—”

“I'm not,” Sasuke cut him off quickly, before he could get into it. “It's not a mission, just a quick errand. It should only take a couple hours.”

“Oh.” Naruto relaxed. “Well, what is it?”

“None of your business, usuratonkachi. Get out of my way, would you?”

Naruto didn't budge. Sasuke huffed and attempted to sidestep him, but Naruto just moved to block him again.

“Naruto!”

“Tell me where you're going first.”

Sasuke glared at him, but relented without a real fight. He wasn't in the mood for arguing, and Naruto wasn't ever going to give in, anyway.

He told Naruto where he was going and why. Naruto stared at him for a long moment before a steely look of determination fell over his face.

“Alright,” he declared, moving to Sasuke's right side so he could link arms with him. “Come on, then.”

Naruto began to pull them forward. Sasuke frowned down at their linked arms, increasingly uncomfortable with the contact. “What are you doing?”

“I'm coming with you, of course.”

“ _What_?” he exclaimed. He ripped his remaining arm from Naruto's grip, staring at him incredulously. “No you're not!”

“Yes, I am. And don't even try to stop me, because it won't work!”

Sasuke clenched his jaw, breathing through his nose slowly in an attempt to keep his patience. “This has nothing to do with you. Why do you even want to go?”

Naruto shrugged. “I don't like the thought of you being alone with that creep.”

Sasuke scowled, a sharp flash of hurt going through him. “You too?” he snapped. Kakashi was one thing, but _Naruto_ … “For the last time, I'm not going to do anything to hurt your precious village, I'm just going to talk to him—”

“ _Our_ village,” Naruto corrected. “And you _know_ that's not what I meant—”

“You're not coming, Naruto,” he said firmly. “You'll just get in the way, and I don't want you there.”

His cold tone didn't dissuade the jinchuuriki—only made him irritated. Sasuke saw the way his jaw tightened, the way his eyes sharpened as they locked on Sasuke's face.

“I know what you're doing, you know.”

Sasuke raised an eyebrow at him. “Really? And what would that be?”

“You completely fell apart in front of the hospital the other day,” Naruto said, ignoring the way Sasuke tensed next to him, “and now you're embarrassed about it, so you've been avoiding me.”

Sasuke choked on the sudden panic in his throat— _I don't want to talk about this_ —as his entire body went taut, his spine straightening. He forced his face into utter blankness.

“I don't know what you mean,” he said, and was relieved when his voice didn't shake. It was cold and impersonal.

“ _Bullshit_ ,” said Naruto. His blue eyes flared. “Dammit, Sasuke! You always do this! You let your guard down for just a _second_ , and then you shut us out and close yourself off, like you think you showed some sort of weakness! It's stupid, and I'm sick of it!”

Sasuke felt his hand shaking and curled it into a fist. Anger sparked in his chest, as familiar as breathing. He struggled against it, fighting to remain composed. “Naruto, I'm warning you—”

Naruto softened his voice, but he kept speaking. “You're allowed to have feelings, Sasuke. It's nothing to be ashamed about. I mean, your brother—”

“ _Don't_.”

The dangerous edge to his voice was enough to snap Naruto's mouth shut, freezing him in place. Sasuke felt like he was standing on a precipice, one tiny push from tipping over the edge.

This was exactly why he'd been avoiding Naruto these past two days. Because Naruto would want him to _talk_. Naruto would want him to _open up_. And Sasuke couldn't look at him without remembering what it had felt like to be unable to breathe, on his knees in the grass as he clung to Naruto like a child.

Naruto had watched him fall apart. Naruto had watched him _break_.

The memory made shame rise hot in his throat. He struggled to swallow it down.

“Just don't, Naruto,” he said. “Please.”

It was the _please_ that seemed to do the trick. Naruto frowned, looking at him with eyes bright with worry, but he nodded reluctantly.

“Okay,” he said softly. “Sorry.”

And Sasuke wanted to be mad at him for speaking to him in that gentle tone—the same one he'd used outside the hospital, like he was soothing a spooked animal—but all he felt was relief. Relief, and a strong surge of gratitude.

 _I don't deserve you_ , he thought, and knew he would never say it out loud.

“I guess you can come with me,” he said instead, in a resigned tone. “But only until we get there. You’ll have to stay outside. He’s less likely to talk to me with you there.”

Naruto grinned as he fell into step beside him. “Admit it,” he said teasingly, nudging Sasuke with his elbow. “You _want_ me to come.”

Sasuke rolled his eyes. “Shut up, loser,” he said, and refused to admit that his tone was fond.

 

* * *

 

“Here, catch.”

Itachi's head whipped up from where he was staring absently at the faded polish on his fingers. His hands snapped up, intercepting the bundle of clothes that had been thrown at him before they could make contact.

Pulled effectively from the memory replaying inside his head— _the briefest glimpse of black hair and a pale face, a single eye wide in disbelief_ —Itachi turned his eyes first to the clothing that had been chucked at him, and then up to the figure in the doorway.

Kakashi was standing there, leaning casually against the doorframe. He was wearing the Hokage robes today, and Itachi felt his spine straighten instinctively.

It had been easy to forget Kakashi's position when he had behaved so casually, dressed in a regular jounin uniform. Now, Itachi had to fight the urge to bow his head in respect.

Kakashi had never struck Itachi as the type to want to lead. But he couldn't deny that the robes suited him.

“Kakashi-san,” he greeted cordially. _Sama_ was too impersonal, too reverent. But _senpai_ was too intimate, spoke of a closeness that was years gone now. “What is this?”

“Change of clothes,” Kakashi said. At the searching look he received, he elaborated, “Sasuke brought to my attention a few things you could probably use after being cooped up here. A shower, to start with.”

Itachi was unable to suppress the sudden bloom of… _something_ … in his chest at his brother’s name. His eyes sharpened, his posture straightening. “Sasuke? You spoke to him?”

The events of two days ago flashed in front of his eyes—the feeling of the Mangekyou tearing into his mind, coming back to himself just in time to see the swirl of his brother's cloak as he ran from the room.

 _Sasuke?_ he had whispered, stunned and disoriented from the brutal mental attack. But his brother had already been gone.

Itachi had waited for him to return, but he hadn't. His thoughts hadn't been able to leave him since.

“I spoke to him,” said Kakashi, with a slight incline of his head. “He's currently following a lead concerning your resurrection. He inquired about you before he left.”

Itachi pressed his lips together and refused to let himself hope. Sasuke had made it clear he didn't want to see him. And Itachi had no right to want him to.

“How is he?” he asked.

“Tired,” Kakashi answered. “A bit overworked. But that's not unusual for him.”

Itachi nodded, looking down at his lap. He clenched and unclenched his hands, fighting the urge to inquire further.

“He's overwhelmed right now,” said Kakashi. Itachi turned his face back up to look at him. “You being back like this… it's messing with his head. He needs _time_ , Itachi. And even then, what he decides to do is his decision.”

Kakashi was firm with him; he wasn't cruel, but he didn't soften his words either, and Itachi was grateful for that.

“I know that,” he replied. “I don't expect anything from him.”

Kakashi's eyes narrowed on his face. Whatever he found there seemed to satisfy him, because he straightened, nodding his head.

“Good,” he said. “Come with me. We'll stop by my apartment so you can get a shower. Then we'll get you something to eat that's not god-awful hospital food.”

Kakashi spun around and exited the room. Itachi blinked at the empty doorway for a moment, before gripping the spare clothes in his hand and quickly following after.

 

* * *

 

They were about three miles outside of Konoha when Naruto collapsed in the middle of the road and refused to move.

“Dobe!” Sasuke yelled at him, nudging him none-too-gently with his foot. “What are you doing? Get up!”

“So _tired_ ,” he whined. “Feet hurt. Need rest. And ramen. Lots of ramen…”

Sasuke rolled his eyes at the dramatics. “We haven't even been walking an hour,” he said. Irritation surged in his chest, and he scowled. “This is exactly why I didn't want to bring you. This isn't meant to take all day, just a few hours at most.”

“But my feet _hurt_.”

Sasuke's hand formed a fist at his side. “You are such a _loser_ ,” he snarled. He gave Naruto's side another kick, but he refused to budge. Sasuke's mouth twisted angrily.

“Fine,” he snapped, though his tone made it clear he wasn't happy. “We'll rest for a minute. But get off the middle of the damn road before someone comes and steps on you.”

Sasuke sat down against the trunk of a nearby tree, resting his arm on his knees. Naruto, grinning at getting his way, scrambled off of the road to sit next to him.

Sasuke leaned his head back against the tree, and his shoulder brushed against Naruto's. He allowed his eyes to slip closed, soaking in the comfort of the silence, until Naruto spoke.

“You're still embarrassed about the other day, aren't you?” he asked. Sasuke kept his eyes closed, but his body stiffened, which Naruto no doubt felt. “I can tell you are. You're being a lot meaner than usual. You're trying to make me angry so I'll leave you alone, right?”

Sasuke pressed his lips together tightly. It was true that he was acting more hostile toward Naruto than he did usually—reverting back to how their relationship used to be, back when he had refused to admit they were friends. And Naruto was right about the reason, too.

Naruto had read him perfectly. He wasn't sure how he felt about that.

“You should talk about it,” said Naruto. When Sasuke whipped his head around to glare at him, he held up his hands placatingly and continued, “I'm not saying you _have_ to. I get that talking isn't really your thing. But I think it would help. It's not healthy to keep it all inside.”

Sasuke inwardly scoffed at that. _Because I've always been such a shining example of healthy coping mechanisms_ , he thought sarcastically.

Still, he knew Naruto was right. Before, he'd never talked to anyone. The only emotion he'd ever displayed openly had been his anger; everything else—all of his grief, all of his conflict—he had kept carefully hidden. It was what had condemned him in the end.

Sasuke sighed. Even if he were to talk to Naruto… he didn't even know how to begin. Didn't know how to describe this desperate, choking feeling in his chest, to translate it into the words that would make him understand.

Sasuke was still trying to understand it himself, still struggling to accept in his mind what had happened. Just looking at his brother, sitting on that hospital bed _alive_ , had made his heart ache with violent feelings. He had hated the man for so long, and before that, had loved him just as passionately. After finally giving up on his revenge and returning to Konoha, he had devoted his entire life to following Itachi's ideals—to protecting the village from the shadows, just as he had.

Now here he was, alive again, and Sasuke felt hopelessly confused with how to feel. His heart was warm, but so warm that it felt like a scorching fire spreading through his veins. He had never experienced this. For years his soul had been nothing but ashes, and ashes didn't feel anything.

“Kakashi thinks Itachi should live with me,” he said suddenly, before he could change his mind.

Surprise crossed Naruto's face—he obviously hadn't expected Sasuke to heed his words. “Oh.” He was silent for a moment, before asking, “What did you say?”

“I told him I'd think about it.”

Both of them lapsed into silence again. Naruto's eyes kept darting to the side to look at him. It was obvious he wanted to talk more about it, but was forcing himself to bite his tongue. Sasuke was grateful.

He thought back to that day outside of the hospital; bent on his knees in the grass, his forehead pressed against Naruto's shoulder. He remembered Naruto's steady presence, anchoring him to that one spot when the panic was trying so hard to sweep him away.

It felt like that now. He could still feel the panic—the dizzying confusion—pressing at the corners of his mind. But here, in this moment, he felt calm.

“How did you know?” he asked. “Outside of the hospital, when I was…” The word _panicking_ got stuck in his throat, and he swallowed past his embarrassment. “…When I came out of the building. How did you know what was happening?”

“Oh,” Naruto replied. It was his turn to look uncomfortable now. “Well, it happened to me before. I, uh, sort of freaked out. It felt like I couldn't breathe and then I fainted.”

Sasuke frowned. “When was this?”

He shifted awkwardly, looking reluctantly. “It was, um, right after Danzo gave the order to kill you on sight. When he was the acting Hokage.”

Sasuke ignored the familiar spark of anger Danzo's name still ignited. His frown deepened. “So… it was because of me.”

“What? No! Well, yes, but only because I was worried about you.”

 _Which you wouldn't have had to be_ , Sasuke thought, _if I had just come back to the village. Instead I let my vengeance swallow me._

“But it turned out okay in the end! I mean, I gave Kakashi-sensei a good scare, but I talked to the Raikage and everything! Though he didn't exactly listen to me…”

Sasuke bowed his head, remembering the Raikage's words to him. _A long time ago, Naruto fell down on his knees and begged for your life._ A heavy feeling of guilt settled on his chest as he imagined it. It wasn't an emotion he had felt for most of his life, but in these past few years, he'd become intimately familiar with it.

“I'm sorry,” he said. The words felt odd in his mouth, but he forced them out anyway. “I know I've never actually said it. Not to you, anyway. So I'm sorry.”

Naruto was quick to shake his head. “I know you are,” he said. “It doesn't matter that you never said it. I forgave you a long time ago, you don't have to—”

“Naruto,” Sasuke said firmly. Naruto stopped mid-sentence, and Sasuke let out his breath slowly. “Just… accept the apology.”

Naruto looked like he still wanted to argue. To say something stupidly sentimental that was supposed to magically absolve him of all his sins. Instead, he pressed his lips together and nodded.

“You're forgiven,” he said.

Not _it's okay_ or _it's fine_ , which was what he clearly wanted to say. But _you're forgiven_.

“Thank you,” Sasuke said, and was surprised by the profound weight he felt lifting off of his shoulders.

They sat like that for a moment, before Sasuke pushed himself off the ground and to his feet, brushing himself off. “Come on,” he said. “We should get going. It's only a couple more miles.”

“Ugh,” Naruto complained. “More walking.”

“You're the one who wanted to come.”

“ _Ugghhh_ …”

They walked for a good ten minutes before Naruto spoke up again.

“I think you should do it.”

Sasuke blinked at the non sequitur. “What?”

“What you said about Itachi living with you,” he said. “I think you should let him.”

Sasuke stiffened, his hand clenching reflexively. “Why?”

Naruto sighed. “Look, it's obvious how overwhelming this is for you. But you can't just keep ignoring him and hope the problem goes away. You have to deal with it some time.”

Sasuke looked down as he walked. Naruto was right. He couldn't avoid his brother forever.

“I know things are pretty complicated between you two,” Naruto said. “But he's your brother. And I know how much you missed him. You have a chance here to be a family again. Or, a chance to _try_ , at least.”

Sasuke bit his lip hard enough to taste blood. He imagined that the situation was reversed—that instead of Sasuke getting one of his precious people back, it had been Naruto. He imagined watching from the sidelines as Naruto was given this miracle, only for him to turn around and ignore it. To act like it was a curse instead of everything he had ever wanted.

Naruto had always wanted the love of a family. Now, Sasuke got a chance to have a part of his back—and he was wasting it.

“Do you resent me for it?” he asked. “That I got a part of my family back and you didn't?” _That I'm just letting it go to waste?_

Naruto looked honestly surprised at the question. “What? Of course not!”

“It's okay if you do,” he said with a shrug. “I probably would, if I was in your place.”

Naruto shook his head. “I don't resent you, Sasuke,” he said. “I'm happy you have your family back. I just wish you could be happy about it, too.”

Sasuke frowned, remembering the feeling of panic that had engulfed him inside of that hospital room. The feeling of the floor falling away from his feet, of the air being knocked from his lungs. _Itachi's alive_ , he had realized, choking on the depth of his own feelings.

“I don't know what I am,” he admitted.

They walked for a bit longer, the path leading downhill, the open road slowly leading into a cluster of trees. The trees blocked out the sunlight, making their surroundings look more eerie. Sasuke walked toward one of the caves while Naruto followed behind him, looking around with suspicious eyes.

“This place is creepy,” he said. “Are you sure you should go in there alone?”

“I already told you, he's more likely to give up information if it's just me. Just wait outside.” _Not that I actually expect him to know anything. But still, it's worth a shot._  

Yamato was waiting by the entrance. He eyed Sasuke suspiciously as he walked toward them. Then his eyes fell on Naruto, and surprise flashed over his face.

“Naruto! What are you doing here?”

“Sasuke let me come with him!” he said. Sasuke rolled his eyes, muttering _let you?_ under his breath. Naruto ignored him. “He said I have to stay outside, though.”

“Did he?” said Yamato, his eyes still narrowed on Sasuke.

Sasuke scowled at the expression. “Are you going to let me through or not?”

Yamato moved aside reluctantly. He entered the dimly lit cave, leaving Naruto to chatter with the Wood Style User.

Sasuke made his way down the twisting path of the hideout, the glowing eyes of the snakes carved into the walls lighting his way. Eventually, he arrived at the room he was searching for, and he shoved the doors open.

The man was waiting for him in the chair facing the door, as if he had known he was coming. Just like last time.

“Sasuke-kun,” he greeted, his pale lips curving into a smirk. “What a pleasant surprise.”

Sasuke met the man's slitted eyes, his gaze unwavering.

“Orochimaru.”

 

* * *

 

Itachi walked down the street with his back straight and his head held high, carrying himself with a confidence that was completely at odds with the twisting feeling in his stomach.

He was walking by the Hokage's side, so every eye was immediately drawn in their direction. The feel of their gazes made his skin itch, his body coil with hidden tension. His time in the Akatsuki had made him paranoid; he found himself analyzing every glance, every greeting.

“Good afternoon, Hokage-sama!” they all called out as the two of them passed. Itachi felt their eyes pass over him, questioning, and his muscles tensed every time, waiting for someone to recognize him.

No one had as of yet, but he still couldn't let himself breathe freely.

“Relax,” said Kakashi, in a voice meant only for their ears. “You give yourself too much credit. You're not _that_ infamous.”

His voice was teasing, reminiscent of their days in ANBU together. Itachi didn't react, keeping his eyes forward. Every inch of his body was on edge. He felt completely exposed.

It had been easy returning to Konoha last time, when he'd been a member of the Akatsuki. He had been playing a role then. His orders had been to return the Nine-Tails jinchuuriki; he'd had his own agenda as well, but the mission parameters had still been clear.

(He and Kisame had failed those orders in the end, but that wasn't the point.)

Now, he felt utterly misplaced in the village he'd protected. It hadn't been like this the last time. Quietly slipping through Konoha hidden beneath a straw hat and a black and red cloak had been easy. Walking down the streets in plain view was infinitely harder.

“This part of the village is mostly civilians,” Kakashi assured him. “No one is likely to recognize you.”

“And if somebody does?”

Kakashi shrugged, unconcerned. “If someone does, then fine. There's no longer any doubt that you're Itachi, and as your brother has reminded me, we can't keep you locked up in the hospital forever.”

He was right, Itachi knew. He was alive again—however that had happened. And he would never be able to process what had happened—to accept the four years that had apparently passed—if he stayed holed away hiding from the world.

Still, being so out in the open felt wrong. Every instinct in his body rebelled against it.

“Thank you,” he told Kakashi, “for allowing me into your apartment for a shower. And for the change in clothes.”

Kakashi waved his gratitude away. “Don't thank me for that. It's basic human decency. If anything, I'm sorry it took so long.”

It really had felt great to wash all that dirt off himself—and to change out of the torn, dirtied clothes he had died in. It had felt strange, standing in someone else's bathroom, felt awkward, but the shower had been worth the discomfort. They'd only spent about a half hour there, anyway; Itachi's hair still felt damp against the back of his neck.

Kakashi gravitated toward one of the many food stands set up along the streets. Itachi sank down on the stool next to him, still struggling to relax.

Kakashi ordered himself some dango, turning to Itachi. “Want some?” he asked.

Itachi shook his head, feeling slightly nauseous. He used to love dango—Izumi had shared some with him once. Now, when he thought about it, all he could see was the look of betrayal in her eyes as he slashed his katana across her throat.

“Suit yourself,” Kakashi said. “You should eat _something_ , though.”

Itachi didn't respond to that. He was feeling much too troubled to eat anything. That, and he had no money to pay with—and he had already mooched off Kakashi enough.

He turned the conversation to his brother instead.

“You said that Sasuke was following a lead concerning what brought me back. Am I allowed to know what that is?”

He was aware that there was certain information he couldn't be privy to. Despite his identity being confirmed and his loyalty to Konoha being known, he was still legally dead. He wasn't a registered shinobi of the village any longer.

Kakashi considered for a moment, before deciding. “I see no reason to keep it from you. Sasuke has traveled to seek out Orochimaru, a mere few miles outside of the village. It's not a lead exactly, but Sasuke hopes he might shed some light on how this could come to happen.”

Itachi blinked at the name. “Orochimaru? I was under the impression he was gone.”

“Not gone, merely sealed away. He was brought back during the height of the war and assisted us in the fighting. He now occupies a small hideout not far from here where he conducts his research.”

Itachi wasn't very surprised by the news that Orochimaru had somehow managed to survive—he was like a cockroach that way. However, he was surprised to hear that the man had assisted Konoha. And that apparently, he was no longer considered a concern.

“He is allowed to roam freely?” he asked, a frown pulling at his lips. “After all of his crimes?”

“Not freely,” Kakashi corrected. “He's kept under guard at all times, but he avoids a cell so long as he continues to assist Konoha with his research. Truthfully, I would like nothing more than to be rid of him, but the village elders have overruled me on the matter. And I won't deny that he has been useful.”

Itachi's mouth tightened slightly at the mention of the elders, but otherwise, he didn't react. He could understand the reasoning for allowing Orochimaru his freedom—even if he didn't like it much. Though he knew that Sasuke's strength now far surpassed Orochimaru's, the idea of that snake being so close to him still didn't sit right.

“So Sasuke believes Orochimaru might know something?” he asked.

“He's the only one who has ever accomplished anything close to reviving the dead. It's not likely he knows anything about your situation in particular, but he at least might know something about how it was done.”

The two of them lapsed into silence at that. Itachi stared down at the counter, thinking. Who would want to return him to life? He couldn't think of anyone who would have grieved him enough, would have missed him enough, to attempt the impossible to get him back.

Itachi might have thought it was Sasuke, if it wasn't already obvious that his brother wanted nothing to do with him.

This worried him. The clearest answer was that whoever brought him back had done so because they had some sort of motive. They wanted to _use_ him. And for all Itachi knew, they could. The Edo-Tensei Kabuto had cast had allowed him to control the actions of everyone under the jutsu. What if the same could be done to him now?

As Itachi obsessed over that line of thought, wondering and wondering until his own thoughts made him dizzy, Kakashi finished off his dango. Somehow, he managed to do this without appearing to pull his mask down.

“Speaking of your brother,” he said. “I was talking with him this morning about what's going to happen with you now. You can't just stay in the hospital, obviously.”

Itachi frowned at this, pulled from the depths of his thoughts. “I know not where I would go. My old compound is in shambles, and I would not dream of encroaching on any one else's space.”

“Yes, well, I had a thought on that.” Kakashi turned on his stool so his body was now facing Itachi's, meeting his eyes. “I asked Sasuke about allowing you to stay with him.”

Surprise flitted through him, unexpected enough to widen his eyes. It was tempered quickly by despondency, and he looked away so the jounin couldn’t spot the emotion in his eyes.

“I don't think that a very wise course of action,” he admitted uneasily, “even if he were to agree, which I doubt.”

He stared down at his fingers against the tabletop, the polish on them faded and chipped. He recalled the harsh grip of his brother's fingers in his hair as Sasuke had yanked his head back and the horror in his eyes as he had fled from the room. He remembered the merciless way Sasuke had forced himself into his head, leaving nothing but broken shards in his wake.

“He hates me,” he said quietly, and felt the truth of it in his heart, sharper than any blade.

Kakashi’s face was unreadable. “Can you blame him?” he asked.

Itachi closed his eyes and remembered. He remembered blood splashed across the floorboards and a terrified face stained with tears; harsh words and even harsher fists, anguished eyes bright with betrayal. He remembered a soft gentleness that slowly turned into sharp, painful edges, innocence and light fracturing into something dark, something _broken_.

Itachi bowed his head. Shame sank into his bones, making him heavy.

“No,” he said. “I can't.”

Silence descended on them. Behind them, villagers mingled together and laughed, but to Itachi they felt miles away. He could feel Kakashi's shrewd gaze on him, and he wondered what the man read in the lines of his face. Itachi had always been exceptional at putting up masks. But Kakashi had always seen more than people gave him credit for.

“Do you know,” Kakashi finally spoke, “why Sasuke returned to the village? Why he protects it, despite all the suffering it brought him?”

Itachi pulled his gaze from the counter, compelled by something in his voice to lift his head.

“It's not forgiveness,” said Kakashi. “His rage may no longer blind him, but his disgust for the elders of this village is still just as present today as it was four years ago.”

Itachi frowned. “Then why—”

“It's for you.”

Itachi blinked, his words stilling on his lips.

“Sasuke thinks I don't know this—probably because I spent a great deal of time after the war convincing the Council that he had given up his anger—but Sasuke never returned to Konoha out of any sort of loyalty. He hasn't forgiven and he hasn't forgotten. Even Naruto couldn't make him let go of something that runs so deep.

“It's for you,” Kakashi repeated, and Itachi felt his breath catch in his throat. “Even now, he's based his entire life on following your ideals—on protecting the village from the shadows, just as you did. Everything he's done since returning—all of it's been for _you_.”

Itachi struggled to comprehend the words, to understand them. His chest felt tight. _It's for you_.

“I… don't understand,” he managed after a moment. His voice didn't shake, but it was a close thing. “What are you saying?”

“He doesn't hate you,” Kakashi said with a firm certainty. “He's confused, and he's overwhelmed, and he doesn't know how to feel. But he doesn't hate you.”

Itachi turned his face away. The smallest bit of hope had begun to take root in his chest, despite the instinctive urge to snuff it out. _He doesn't hate you_. Could that be true? Could he still have a chance to make this right?

“How do you know?” he asked.

Kakashi’s eye curved upward in a smile. “He's my student,” he said. “Of course I know.”

Itachi stared, and was suddenly struck silent by the realization that this man knew his little brother better than he did. He had trained Sasuke, watched him grow up. And Itachi—the brother that Itachi knew was seven years old. He didn't know who he was now.

For a moment, the thought made him unbearably sad.

 _But you can get to know him_ , he thought. _You have time now. No plans, no missions. You can_ live.

The thought should have been a pleasant one, a reassuring one. Instead, it left him feeling more lost than ever.

 

* * *

 

“A visit, so soon after last time?” Orochimaru flashed the tips of his teeth as he smiled, eyes narrow and sharp. “I'm flattered.”

“Don't act so surprised,” Sasuke said. “You knew I was coming.”

He didn't ask how Orochimaru knew and the Sannin didn't volunteer the information. The amusement on his face was as clear as the disdain was on Sasuke's.

“I assume you remember how this works,” he said. He kept his tone devoid of any sort of emotion that Orochimaru could prey on. “I ask, you answer. If anything out of your mouth isn't pertinent to what I wish to know, then I walk.”

Orochimaru sighed. “It's never any _fun_ with you, Sasuke-kun. Alright. Go ahead and ask your questions. What horrible misfortune do you need my help with _this_ time?”

Sasuke narrowed his eyes, detesting the condescending tone to the man's voice. “A former shinobi of the village has been resurrected—fully alive, not by the Edo-Tensei.” His eyes sharpened on the pale face in front of him, asking, “Did you do it?”

Orochimaru didn’t bother to hide the spark of interest in his eyes as he leaned forward. “Resurrected? Intriguing. Which shinobi was it?”

“Not important,” Sasuke snapped. Like hell he was going to give the man any information that could be wielded against him. “Did you do it or not?”

He leaned back in his seat, crossing his leg over his knee. “Such things are beyond my ability. Perhaps ask Kabuto. He was the one behind it last time, was he not?”

Sasuke pressed his lips together tightly, recalling his brother with his dead eyes and cracking skin. Then he recalled him in that hospital room, breathing and healthy. _Alive_.

“This is different,” he said.

Orochimaru opened his mouth to no doubt say something else infuriating, but before he could, a familiar redheaded figure rushed into the room, latching onto his arm and clinging to him like a leech.

“Sasuke!” Karin yelled. “I knew I sensed your chakra!”

Sasuke resisted the urge to groan. He didn’t have the patience for this today.

“Karin, get off me.”

Surprisingly, Karin listened to him and detached herself, though she was still standing much closer than he was comfortable with. Behind her, Suigetsu and Juugo had entered the room.

Sasuke was getting a serious case of déjà vu.

“Sasuke!” Suigetsu greeted with a sharp grin. “Back so soon? Careful, it’s starting to seem like you actually miss us.”

Sasuke ignored the subtle attempt at provoking him. Juugo was silent beside them, which he could appreciate. He offered Sasuke a small nod in greeting, which Sasuke returned.

“I’m here for information from Orochimaru,” he said.

“ _Again_? What’s it about this time?”

“None of your business.”

“ _Rude_ ,” Suigetsu huffed. “Jeez, you're still such a bastard—”

“Shut up, Suigetsu!”

Karin threw her fist at Suigetsu’s face, causing his head to dissolve into water. Sasuke sighed when he felt water splash against his back, Karin and Suigetsu devolving into a pair of bickering children.

Sasuke rolled his eyes, but the feeling in his chest was more fond than it was annoyed. A part of him _had_ missed them—though he would sooner die than ever admit it.

He refocused his attention on Orochimaru, his demeanor once again becoming serious. “So you really don’t know anything?”

“Even if I had the knowledge necessary to do it,” the Sannin said, “I’d never be able to do it under constant watch.”

“So you know _nothing_?”

The man flashed his teeth again. Other than the flicker of interest he’d shown before, his expression had remained unchanged. “Sorry to disappoint.”

Sasuke scowled. “Then this was completely _pointless._ ”

He spun around angrily, shoving passed Karin to stride out of the room. He hadn’t expected the trip to yield any type of results, but even if it was expected it still left him feeling frustrated.

“You can’t leave already!” Karin protested. She darted down the dimly-lit hallway after him. “You just got here, and now you’re just going to run away without even stopping—”

“Naruto!” Sasuke yelled out to his teammate, shaking the female off of him. “We’re leaving now!”

Orochimaru’s eyes were like pinpricks of heat on his back, watching as he left. He didn’t turn around.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know you guys were probably looking forward to some Itachi/Sasuke interaction, so I'm sorry you didn't get any this chapter:( however, I think it's super important that Sasuke and Itachi had a bit of time to process everything before meeting again. Sasuke needed some time to process Itachi being alive, and Itachi needed time to accept what happened to him and that 4 years had passed.
> 
> However, I have already started Chapter 4, and at least half of it is looking to be Sasuke/Itachi interaction. I promise they'll actually talk to each other next chapter :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sasuke and Itachi's conversation was so hard. I've rewritten it at least 3 times, and I'm still not completely happy with it :(

The next day, Sasuke was once again on his way to Kakashi’s office when he ran into Sakura. Literally.

She made a noise of surprise as they collided, eyes widening as she lost her balance. Sasuke’s right hand shot out to keep her from falling, gripping her shoulder firmly to steady her. Sakura looked up behind a curtain of pink hair, a polite _thank you_ visibly on her lips, until she realized who it was. A smile lit up her face.

“Sasuke-kun!”

“Sakura,” he greeted her cordially. He didn’t quite smile, but he allowed his lips to curve just slightly. “Sorry. I didn’t see you.”

“That’s okay.”

It was then that she seemed to realize how close they were standing, their bodies merely inches apart. A blush spread across her cheeks. She stared up at him, clearly flustered by his proximity.

Sasuke let his hand drop back to his side, quickly stepping back. Trance broken, Sakura tore her gaze away and quickly regained her composure.

“Don’t worry about it,” she said, and her voice was steady. Her feelings for him may have remained, but she wasn’t a silly schoolgirl anymore. “I’m glad I ran into you, actually. I haven’t seen you since you got back. You haven’t been avoiding me, have you?”

Sasuke shook his head. “Not you.”

She didn’t need to ask who he meant. Her concerned expression became one of exasperation as she asked, “What did you and Naruto fight about this time?”

“It’s fine,” he told her. “We worked it out.”

“Well, good. Naruto’s always insufferable to be around whenever you two are fighting.”

She fell in step beside him, walking with him down the street in the direction of Hokage tower. He frowned down at her.

“Weren’t you going in _that_ direction?” he asked, hiking his thumb behind him.

“Just an errand,” she said. “It can wait until later. We haven’t talked in a while. I’ve missed you.”

Much like Naruto’s own words when he’d returned to the village a few days ago, the sentiment made him feel rather awkward. He had missed both of them as well, but to say so out loud would leave him vulnerable in a way he had never been comfortable with.

“I’m glad to be back,” he said instead, and hoped she could hear the _I missed you too_ that laid in the words.

“How are you handling everything?” she asked. “With Itachi? Naruto told me you haven’t been by to see him.”

Sasuke sighed. He didn’t really want to talk about Itachi with her. The same irritation from yesterday welled up in him, but he knew this time that the anger was misplaced, so he forced it to settle. He wouldn’t snap at her unprovoked like he had with Naruto yesterday.

“That’s actually where I’m going now, after I talk with Kakashi. Itachi doesn’t have anywhere to stay, so I guess he’ll have to stay with me.”

Sakura processed this information with some surprise. Her face became thoughtful. “ _Have to_?” she repeated, honing in on those two words. “Do you not want him to?”

Sasuke shrugged. “Naruto thinks he should,” he said. He didn’t look at her. “So does Kakashi.”

“Yes,” said Sakura. He could hear the frown in her voice. “But what about _you_?”

“Does it _matter_?” he snapped, and immediately clamped his mouth closed. The words had come out more heated than he’d meant them to.

Sakura stopped beside him. She grabbed him by the shoulder and forced him to turn and look at her.

“Of course it matters!” she said. “If living with him makes you uncomfortable, then you shouldn’t be forced to! After everything he put you through—”

“No one’s forcing me.” He grabbed the hand that was gripping his shoulder, removing it and returning it to her side. “This is my decision. And what happened wasn’t his fault.”

Sakura looked dearly like she wanted to argue this point, but after glancing at him she seemed to think better of it. “Maybe not,” she said. “But that doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to feel angry.”

Sasuke looked at her, and his previous irritation dissipated. He tried to hold onto it—because it was one thing for him to be angry at his brother, but another thing completely for someone else to be—but it slipped through his fingers. Ever since Itachi got back, Sasuke had felt guilty for avoiding him, guilty for being angry after everything his brother sacrificed. And Kakashi and Naruto had only made it worse. He knew it hadn’t been their intention, but the way they had spoken to him about Itachi—it had made him feel guilty for his own feelings; as if his anger wasn’t something that he held a right to.

Itachi had sacrificed everything for him. Had _died_ for him. What gave him any right to be angry? How could he possibly offer him anything other than total forgiveness?

But here Sakura was, telling him it was okay. _That doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to feel angry._ She was validating his anger, telling him it was something he was allowed to feel. Forgiveness wasn’t something he was obligated to give; it was his choice whether to hand it over.

Oddly enough, this was what solidified his choice to let his brother live with him. He didn’t owe this to Itachi—but he wanted to give it anyway.

Still, a part of his mind was still uncertain. He looked to Sakura. “What do you think I should do?”

She sighed, resigned. “I think,” she responded, “that you’ve already decided what you’re going to do, regardless of what I say. But you’re scared, and now you’re looking for someone to talk you out of it.”

Sasuke turned his eyes toward the ground. First Naruto, and now Sakura. When had he become so transparent?

Sakura shook her head, smiling softly. “That’s not me this time, Sasuke-kun. This is your choice.”

Sasuke sighed. He glared slightly. “Thanks. You’ve been a real help.”

This only made her smile brighter. Her eyes swept over him, cataloging every detail, and her face seemed to soften somehow in accordance to what she saw. Before Sasuke realized what she was doing, she had wrapped her arms around his neck, her chin resting on his shoulder.

The hug was very gentle, not in the least bit confining, but Sasuke still stiffened instinctively. His immediate impulse was to shove her away, but he recognized how loosely she was holding him—making it clear she would back off immediately if he wanted her to—and he forced himself to relax. The tension leeched out of him, and slowly, he circled his arm around her waist, hugging her back very loosely.

This whole ‘friends' thing—accepting he had them, realizing what that meant—was still a large work in progress. But he liked to believe he was getting better at it.

“Just do what you think is best,” Sakura told him softly. “And do it because you think so, not because anyone else does.”

 

 

 

“I’ll do it,” Sasuke announced as he came in through the window.

Kakashi’s surprise at his sudden appearance was comical to watch. The man swore, the pen in his hand jerking and sending a long line of ink across the page he’d been writing on. A stack of paperwork crashed to the floor.

Sasuke leaned against the windowsill, his face blank as he fought to suppress a smirk.  
Kakashi stared, forlorn, at the papers strewn across the floor of his office. Then, his gaze lifted and his head turned.

“I see we’ve graduated from not knocking to foregoing doors entirely,” he said dryly. “And just when I thought your manners couldn’t get any poorer.”

Sasuke considered pointing out how often Kakashi himself entered a room by the window instead of the door, but decided it wasn’t worth getting off topic.

“I’ve thought about what you asked,” he said to him. “I’ll let Itachi stay with me.”

Kakashi blinked, visibly surprised. “Really?”

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. “Were you expecting a different answer?”

Kakashi’s face cycled through a variety of emotions before settling on something unreadable. “Honestly?” he said. “Yes.”

Sasuke pressed his mouth into a thin line, meeting his former teacher’s eyes. “I’m done running away from my problems.”

He raised his chin, his gaze unwavering. The words were almost challenging. Kakashi considered him for a moment, then his eyes curved up in a way that meant he was smiling beneath his mask.

“Good,” he replied. “I wondered when you might be.”

The blatant approval in the words made Sasuke feel rather warm—almost _proud_. He fought to keep it from his face.

“Just thought I’d let you know,” he told him. “Didn’t want you freaking out when Itachi wasn’t in the hospital.”

“Thank you for the _consideration_ ,” Kakashi said dryly, a particular emphasis on the last word.

As the Sixth Hokage, informing Kakashi of his plans regarding Itachi was more of an obligation than a consideration. But Sasuke had never cared much for adhering to the chain of command – and neither had Kakashi, for as much as he liked to pretend otherwise.

“Speaking of your brother,” said Kakashi. “How’d that errand go yesterday?”

Sasuke scowled as he recalled it. “It didn’t. He didn’t know anything, and all he did was waste my time.”

Irritation filled him at just the memory. Orochimaru had always been very adept at trying Sasuke’s patience; he excelled at leading people around in circles, and even after all these years, being in his presence still left a sour taste in Sasuke’s mouth.

Orochimaru was undoubtedly impressive; Sasuke had grown greatly under his tutelage, and there were parts of him that Sasuke had come to respect. But he was still nothing more than a necessary evil – and Sasuke would gladly strike him down the moment he stopped being useful.

“You’re certain he wasn’t lying?”

“I considered it,” said Sasuke. It had been the first thing he’d considered – after the blinding frustration had faded away, allowing him to think clearly again. But Orochimaru didn’t usually lie, not to him. He kept things hidden, he took the truth and twisted it until it was nearly impossible to discern in his words, but very rarely did he outright lie.

“I don’t think he lied about bringing Itachi back,” he said. “But I definitely wouldn’t rule out the possibility of him knowing something and not telling me. But he has those other three with him, so they’ll watch him.”

“Your former teammates are loyal to Orochimaru,” Kakashi pointed out. “Are you sure you can count on them?”

“ _Karin_ is loyal to Orochimaru,” Sasuke corrected. “Suigetsu is just scared of him, and Juugo only stays because I’ve asked him to. Karin and Suigetsu may be swayed, but I can count on Juugo to tell me if he’s up to something.”

Kakashi studied him shrewdly before inclining his head. “Very well. I’ll trust your judgment on this.”

Sasuke turned his back on him, his cloak whipping behind him. “By the way,” he added. His gaze flickered over the papers strewn across the floor, then back to Kakashi. “You should be more vigilant, being Hokage. What if I’d been someone trying to assassinate you?”

Kakashi huffed. “What, you think because I no longer have the Sharingan that I’m no longer able to defend myself? I’ll have you know, I’m still quite capable of dealing with any attempts made on my life.”

“I know,” said Sasuke. He was very much aware of how deadly his former sensei was – even now, without his clan’s Kekkai Genkai. “But you could at least secure the building better. It’s like you’re asking to be attacked.”

“I have guards,” Kakashi defended. “Admittedly poor ones, yes, but I have them.”

“The guards were asleep,” Sasuke told him bluntly.

There was a moment of silence. Kakashi stared at him blankly, blinking.

“ _What_.”

 

* * *

 

Itachi was scrubbing the remaining nail polish off his nails when the knock came at the door. He paused when he heard it, turning his head toward the sound.

Who could that be? Not Kakashi. He wouldn’t bother to knock.

The knock came again. It wasn’t urgent-sounding, but it wasn’t gentle either. Itachi reached out to turn off the faucet, exiting the bathroom and eying the door cautiously.

“Come in,” he said.

The door was pushed open and Sasuke stepped into the room. Itachi hadn’t been expecting him, and for a moment the shock must've been clear on his face. No mask to hide behind.

Sasuke didn’t speak. His feet shifting, eyes averted, he looked as unsure of himself as Itachi felt.

“Sasuke,” Itachi greeted once he found his voice.

Sasuke still didn’t look at him. “Hey,” he said quietly.

Itachi didn’t know what to say, didn’t know where to start. There was so much history between them, so much never said and never resolved, and Itachi could feel it coiling in the air around them. He didn’t know how to address it, but he didn’t know how to ignore it either.

His eyes swept over his brother, cataloging every detail – everything that was different, everything that was the same. Everything that he hadn’t had a chance to notice last time, when Sasuke had rushed from the room so quickly. His hair was longer now, falling over one of his eyes. And he was taller – as tall as Itachi.

 _He looks like Father,_ he thought. The realization brought a sudden ache to his heart.

He never thought he’d see this – his brother grown and healthy, back in the village again. He never thought he’d be _alive_ to see this.

He hesitated before speaking, uncertain how to bridge the gap between them. Sasuke wasn’t a wounded animal; he wouldn’t startle or lash out if he said something wrong. But still, he took care in choosing his words.

“It’s good to see you,” he said. He paused, before adding, “You’ve grown.”

Sasuke shrugged. He still didn’t quite meet Itachi’s eyes, but he stopped gazing at the floor at least. “Four years will do that to a person.”

“Four years,” Itachi repeated quietly. He swallowed the sudden lump in his throat. “Right.”

_Four years I wasn’t here. Four years that I missed._

It shouldn’t have been so hard to process. He’d had days to wrap his head around it now. But the idea that four years had passed in the moment between closing his eyes and opening them again was a hard thing to accept – especially when cooped up in a single room, unable to see the changes time had wrought.

Standing here in front of his brother – four years older than he’d been less than a week ago – was the first time it felt real.

Sasuke finally met his eyes, and for a moment his gaze pinned Itachi to the spot. “This must be difficult for you,” he said. “I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to see you. I just didn’t know what to say.”

“But you do now?”

Sasuke paused, his expression tightening slightly. “No,” he admitted. “I still don’t. But someone’s been telling me for years now to stop running. I figured it was time I listened.”

Itachi didn’t need to be told who it was. He already knew.

“Naruto?” he guessed.

“Who else?”

Itachi smiled slightly. “You know, I talked to him while I was under the Edo Tensei. Before I went after Kabuto.”

“I remember.” Sasuke’s eyebrows furrowed in thought. “You said something about fulfilling your promise to him. What promise?”

“He didn’t tell you?”

Sasuke shrugged. “We never really talked about it.”

“I promised him I would stop the reanimation jutsu,” he explained. “And he promised me he would bring you home.”

Itachi remembered it as happening only a few days ago; Naruto, standing across from him in that clearing, lifting the burden of responsibility from his shoulders. Telling him that it was okay to let go – that his duty was done.

_You don’t have to keep worrying anymore, Itachi. You’ve done more than enough. Just leave the rest to me._

Itachi had felt vaguely guilty for handing the responsibility of his brother over so easily – for feeling so relieved once the weight was off his shoulders. But by that point, he’d just been so tired. And his weren’t the words Sasuke had needed to hear.

“I see he did as he said he would,” said Itachi.

The look on Sasuke's face was complicated – he couldn’t quite decipher it. And that was something else that had changed: Itachi had never had a problem reading his brother’s face before.

Itachi realized then that the both of them were still standing in the center of the room. He gestured toward the bed. “Did you… want to sit down?”

They sat; Sasuke gingerly on the edge of the bed, as if prepared to spring off it at a moment’s notice. Itachi didn’t know how to put him at ease; nothing about this situation was easy. Before, during their confrontation in the forest, there had been no time for uncertainty; Sasuke had begun raging at him immediately, desperately demanding answers, and after that there had been Kabuto to deal with. But there was no anger this time, no driving purpose. Now, Sasuke was quiet, and as a result, Itachi was feeling increasingly unsure of himself.

It was a hard thing to realize – that after everything that had gone down between them, he no longer knew how to talk to his brother.

“So you remember it? Being under the Edo Tensei?” Sasuke inquired. “I wondered if you would.”

Itachi sighed and told him the same thing he told Kakashi. “The last thing I remember before waking up in the compound is saying goodbye to you. There was nothing in-between. I was there and then I was here. It felt like a blink.”

Something flashed quickly through his brother’s eyes—a flash of pain at a memory that should’ve been long buried. Itachi recognized it easily. It was how he felt when he thought about Shisui, or Izumi, or their parents.

_I will love you always._

For him, it had been mere days since he’d spoken those words. For Sasuke, it had been years. He wondered if Sasuke still remembered it as clearly as him. Had the memory been dulled by time, or had it remained just as sharp?

_I will love you always._

Sasuke swallowed, directing his gaze to his lap. In that moment, Itachi knew they were remembering the same thing.

“I’m sorry about what I did to you before. About using the Mangekyou on you.” The apology seemed to come apropos of nothing, but looking at him, Itachi could tell it was something that had been held behind his teeth for a while, probably since before he’d entered the room. “Kakashi told me you were back, and – I just couldn’t believe it was you. I had to be sure. But I shouldn’t have done it the way I did.”

Itachi was quick to shake his head. He remembered the ruthless efficiency that Sasuke had attacked his mind with, and he remembered what a mess his head had been afterwards. But he also remembered the night of the massacre, standing over his parents’ bodies; he remembered lifting his brother by the throat and pinning him to the hallway wall.

He remembered his brother screaming. Screaming until his voice finally broke and his eyes went unfocused, dropping to the ground like a marionette whose strings had been cut.

“Don’t,” he said firmly. He felt slightly nauseous. “You don’t have to apologize to me.”

“Maybe not. But I still should.”

Itachi opened his mouth to dismiss the words, to tell him he understood. But the words got trapped between the memory of having his mind ripped apart for someone else’s eyes – and the horror of realizing it was still nothing compared to the Tsukuyomi.

He dropped his eyes. Sasuke was wearing fingerless gloves, and one of his hands was gripping the top of his knee tightly. His gaze moved slightly to the right, then caught on his brother’s right sleeve. His eyes widened.

“Your arm,” he said in shock.

Sasuke’s right sleeve was empty. He hadn’t noticed it when his brother had sat down, because it was the part of his body that was turned partially away from him. His eyes fell on the hand Sasuke had placed over his knee – the _single_ hand – then back up to the empty sleeve of his cloak. He stared at it in horror.

Sasuke’s eyes followed his gaze. “Oh,” he said. “That.” His voice was unbelievably casual – as if he were remarking on a small scar instead of a missing limb.

“What _happened_?”

“You were right when you said Naruto did as he promised. He brought me back to Konoha. But not before we had a huge fight.” A flash of pain passed over Sasuke’s face at the memory, and he gripped the stump of his arm. Itachi could see now that it wasn’t missing completely, and seemed to be severed at the elbow. “It was pretty bad. The both of us went all-out. We nearly killed each other.”

Itachi frowned when hearing that. “He said he wasn’t going to try to kill you.”

“I didn’t exactly give him a choice,” Sasuke defended. Something akin to shame passed through his eyes. “I was out of my mind by that point. I don’t think I even cared if I died, just so long as I took him with me.”

Sasuke’s eyes became distant, lost in memory. Itachi watched him, and he felt something inside him break at the words – to hear that his brother truly hadn’t cared if he lived. And it had been Itachi’s choices that had brought him to that point, Itachi who had broken him so completely.

Sasuke shrugged. “So I got my arm blown off.” Itachi’s face must have looked rather horrified, because Sasuke was quick to reassure him, “If it makes you feel any better, Naruto got his arm blown off, too.”

It really, _really_ didn’t.

“Naruto got his arm replaced. I chose not to.”

Itachi pulled his gaze from his brother’s empty sleeve, looking at him in bafflement. “Why not?”

Sasuke paused. For a long moment, he was quiet. Itachi had just decided that he wasn’t going to tell him, and that Itachi wasn’t going to push him about it, when Sasuke spoke.

“I didn’t get it replaced because for me it’s a reminder. I keep it to remember what I’ve done. And as a reminder to never lose myself again.”

Itachi listened to the words, and something warm and bright bloomed in his chest. _Pride_ , he realized. He was pained that his brother had lost his arm – that he’d had to go through so much suffering. But he was proud that he had managed to rise above it, proud of the person he had become.

 _It’s not forgiveness,_ Kakashi had said, when he’d asked why Sasuke had returned to the village. And maybe that was true. Maybe Sasuke still wasn’t loyal to the village, maybe he never would be. But loyal or not, it was clear that he still felt regret for his actions. That he had learned to recognize his own mistakes.

Sasuke really had changed from that angry, grief-stricken boy hell-bent on revenge. Itachi wondered when his brother had grown up. He was sad to have missed it.

 _I’m proud of you,_ he wanted to say, but he wasn’t sure he had a right to it.

“I’m glad you came back,” he said instead. “I’m glad you were able to let go.”

Sasuke frowned. “I didn’t let go of anything. I did it because it’s what you wanted. That’s the only reason.”

Itachi’s mouth tightened. He didn’t believe that. He remembered what Kakashi had said to him regarding his brother’s choice— _it’s for you_ —but he also saw the real shame on Sasuke’s face. He remembered the slight fondness that had crept into his voice when he’d spoken of Naruto, remembered the love in Sakura’s and the protectiveness in Kakashi’s.

“I don’t believe you,” he said. “I don’t believe I’m the only reason.”

Sasuke paused. “Maybe not,” he admitted reluctantly. “Maybe I have other reasons to stay. But that doesn’t mean I can forgive them.”

“But you still came home. You gave up your revenge.”

Sasuke shrugged. “I wasn’t ever going to get it,” he said. “And… I was tired of raging against a world that wasn’t ever going to hear me.”

Itachi started slightly at the words. “Is that what you think? That no one was hearing you?”

Sasuke averted his eyes toward the ground. He gave no answer. Itachi leaned closer into his brother’s line of sight, giving him no choice but to look at him.

“Sasuke, I might not have approved of your actions, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t hear you. I understood why you were angry. Why you hated them.”

“I know,” Sasuke told him quietly. “I know you did. I just… I just wish you would be angry with them, too. If anyone has a right to be, it’s you.”

Itachi sighed. How could he possibly explain to Sasuke the knotted, contorted mess of feelings he had toward the Third, toward Danzo, toward the elders? His loyalty and devotion toward the village had always been steadfast and unwavering, but his feelings toward the village leaders who had given him his orders weren’t as clear-cut.

He wanted to hate them for what they had done. And he wanted to hate his clan as well, for plotting the coup d'etat that had led to it. But hatred was so exhausting a feeling, and all of it that he could spare had already been directed at himself.

“I’m sorry,” he offered. He wasn’t sure what he was apologizing for—for not being able to feel what Sasuke wanted him to? Maybe he was apologizing for everything.

It didn’t matter. It would never be enough.

Once it became clear their conversation was drifting toward much heavier subjects, Sasuke quickly closed off from him. His face became like it had been when he’d entered the room; tense and mask-like. “Kakashi proposed that you come and live with me. I don’t know if he told you?”

“He did,” Itachi responded. “It’s okay. I don’t expect you to — "

“I’ve accepted.”

Itachi’s eyes widened. He quickly hid his obvious surprise. “You—why?” He shook his head. “I don’t want you to feel obligated—”

“This isn’t about obligation,” Sasuke cut him off. His expression was shuttered, but the words were still genuine. “You don’t have a place to stay, I’m offering you one. If you want to refuse then fine, but don’t do it on my account.”

Itachi paused, considering. After a moment, Sasuke sighed, and some of the sharpness seemed to fade from his face.

“Please,” he said.

And, well—what else could Itachi say to that but yes?

 

* * *

  
Talking to his brother had been… surprisingly easy, actually. The hardest part of it all had probably been standing outside the door, trying to make himself raise his fist and knock.

Sasuke snuck a glance at his brother standing next to him. It still seemed surreal to him. He looked so _alive_ —nothing at all like the Edo Tensei. Sasuke had a sudden urge to reach out and touch him; to make sure he was real, not some apparition that would dissipate at the slightest brush of his fingers.

It was a ridiculous fear to have, he knew. But he couldn’t help it. This cruel world had never given him anything good. Why would it start now?

“I’m still not sure I should have left,” said Itachi from beside him, as they walked toward Sasuke’s apartment. “Not without informing Lord Sixth.”

Sasuke couldn’t help it. He snorted. “You call him _Lord Sixth_?”

Itachi shot him a stern look. “He’s the _Hokage_. It’s the proper way to address him.”

Sasuke had the strangest desire to laugh at the way Itachi was speaking to him—as if he were a misbehaving seven-year-old. His own emotions were giving him whiplash. He felt like he was barely holding it together.

“Relax. I already told him before I came to see you.”

Talking in the hospital had been easier, somehow. Nerve-wracking, yes, but after a few minutes of talking it had almost been normal. Now, he felt like he was balancing on a knife’s edge.

They reached the apartment. It was a small place, nothing special. They went in and Itachi looked around at the sparse belongings and bare walls. Sasuke felt oddly embarrassed.

“It’s not much,” he said. “I’m usually away on missions, so I’m not here very often.”

Itachi was turned away from him as he examined the room. “Are you going to be leaving again soon, then?”

Sasuke hesitated before answering. “I’ve decided to take a small break from the missions.”

Itachi was quiet. Then, he turned to face him, and his expression caused Sasuke to freeze.

“Sasuke, I’m sorry,” he said.

Sasuke immediately stiffened. The serious look on his brother’s face made his heart pick up pace. “Don’t,” he said. It was suddenly hard to swallow. “Itachi, _don’t_.”

But Itachi shook his head. “No, Sasuke, I have to say it. Because I realized that for all the time I spent explaining my reasons to you, I never actually said I’m sorry, and I need to. Even if it doesn’t change anything. Even if it’s meaningless.”

Sasuke’s throat closed up. The air became thin.

( _“Run. Run away. Cling to your wretched life—”_ )

Sasuke struggled against the sudden memory, fought to remain in the present moment. “Itachi, that’s—you don’t have to—”

( _“—surviving in so unsightly a way.”_ )

“But I do,” his brother told him. Itachi met his gaze, and the pain in his eyes stole Sasuke’s breath. “Sasuke, what I did to you was unacceptable. There’s no excuse for it—”

( _“And one day, when you possess the same eyes—”_ )

“I can’t,” he gasped. He thought he might be sick. He looked into Itachi’s sincere face, and all he could see were streets smeared with blood. “Itachi, I don’t want to do this right now.”

It was happening again. He couldn’t breathe. Everything was too much. How had he gone from being fine to being a complete mess so fast?

( _“—come and stand before me.”_ )

 _I can’t do this,_ he realized.

He spun around, toward the bathroom. Itachi’s eyes had widened, opening his mouth to call out, but Sasuke ignored him. He couldn’t breathe. It was just like with Naruto at the hospital.

Itachi called his name, but Sasuke didn’t turn around, rushing into the bathroom and slamming the door closed behind him. He slid down to the floor, his chest tight and his breathing uneven.

 _Not again,_ he thought. He curled his hand into a fist against the tiled floor, forced himself to breathe slowly. _Calm down. You’re not doing this again._

Everything went fuzzy. The door pressing against his back seemed miles away. All he could see was the floor splattered in his parents blood, accompanied by the echo of his brother’s mocking voice.

( _“Foolish little brother—”_ )

“Sasuke?” came Itachi’s concerned voice, just beyond the door. “Are you alright?”

Sasuke startled. His surroundings rushed back, sudden and vivid. The haze over his mind dissipated.

Sasuke breathed in slowly, held it for a few seconds, then breathed out. He focused on the feel of the door at his back, the cold tile beneath his fingers. “Fine,” he called out, forcing his voice steady. “I’ll be out in a few minutes.”

Sasuke listened to Itachi’s footsteps retreat slightly. He sighed, closing his eyes, but it did nothing to stop the flood of haunting images bombarding him.

_Pull yourself together. You can’t live with him if you’re going to be like this._

Not if he couldn’t be in the same room with him without falling apart. Not if he couldn’t look at him without seeing him as he had been, rather than as he was now.

( _“—you're not even worth killing.”_ )

Sasuke sighed, letting his forehead fall against his knees. He thought about Itachi then, and he thought about Itachi now. He thought about the fact that there _was_ a now.

He wondered if things could ever be as they had been—or if some things were too broken to be fixed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sasuke is making progress, you guys. Slow progress, yes, but he's got a lot of trauma to work through (and so does Itachi).


End file.
